Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Take 5: The Halloween Candy Caste System

Doug:  Several years ago I read a Sunday comic strip about Halloween candy.  The creator set it up as a "caste system" of traditional Halloween treats and it was quite funny!  But, I no longer have a copy, nor could I easily find one on the web -- you'll have to take my word for it!  Anyway, Karen and I thought it might be fun to list our favorites, and those things you cursed as they fell into the bag.  Let's make it a "Take 5", with your "hates" being outside the caste system as "untouchables".

Shall we?

  1. Reese's Peanut Butter Cups
  2. KitKat
  3. Snickers
  4. Hershey's miniatures, including Mr. Goodbar, Krackle
  5. Charms Blow Pops
Pure Yuck! = black licorice (Good 'n' Plenty, jellybeans, etc.)


1. Milk Duds
2. Snickers
3. Nestle Crunch
4. Reese's Peanut Butter Cups
5. Three Musketeers

Dag Nasty = Candy Corn


Edo Bosnar said...

I almost shouted a vocal 'ha' at my desk at work, because as soon as I read that you wanted to include "untouchables" the first thing that popped into my head was Candy Corn, followed quickly by black licorice - and then I read your lists.
Anyway, my favorites:
1. Jolly Ranchers
2. Mounds and/or Almond Joys
3. PayDays
4. Reese's Peanut Butter Cups
5. Jawbreakers

As for yuckitude, you guys both mentioned my top two, so I'll just add Candy Corn's equally unsavory cousin, Candy Pumpkins.

david_b said...

No particular order here.., but here's my take:

1) Sweetarts
2) Mounds
3) Peanut Butter Cups
4) Twizlers
5) Snickers, M&Ms, Junior Mints.. 'Who Cares, We're talkin' CHOCOLATE HERE..!!!'

AND... for bonus points, I do like Candy Corn (and those orange candy peanuts..), but only in limited quantities.

dbutler16 said...

My favorite candy bar today is probably the one you have pictured - Take 5. However, that didn't exist back when I was trick or treating. Since I think we're supposed to be listing our faves (and least faves) from out trick or treating days, that makes the list of candidates a lot shorter (it's amazing how many more candy bars there are today than 30 years ago!).

So, the Top of the Pops:
1. Snickers
2. Reeses Peanut Butter Cups
3. Kit Kat
4. Nestle Crunch
5. Almond Joy

Throw it out: anything with no chocolate. Well, except something like PayDays. I'm more referring to things like hard candy, licorice, Jolly Ranchers, Blow Pops, Twizzlers, etc., as well as apples. The nerve of some people, trying to give me something healthy like apples, when all I want is some chocolate!!

humanbelly said...

We tended to have a little too much chocolate in our house on a regular basis (my Mom had- and still has- and ENORMOUS problem with it, which she has thoughtfully passed right on to her oldest & only son. . . ), so it was actually the slightly more "exotic" candies that were Halloween favorites:

1)Royale Toffees or something similar? A tiny caramel or chocolate toffee log w/ a cream center?
2)Another little chewey pellet-candy called "Chocolate Shake"-- yellow wrapper w/ blue letters. Sort of a swiss-chocolate flavor.
3)Black Cow stick-- remember those?
4)caramel popcorn balls-- tough to eat once they really hardened, though.
5)A tie between Milk Duds and Sugar Babies.

Candies of Last Resort (although, god bless us, we'd still eventually choke it down):

1) Yes, black licorice. In fact, that did NOT ever get choked down.
2) Candy Corn-- although the chocolate-capped was bearable.
3) Well, apples, yes. I mean, why not just toss in some wheat germ, while you're at it? And my Mom had a PANIC attack at every apple-- convinced that they had at least 5 razor blades each stashed inside. (And has anyone ever- EVER- hear of a confirmed instance of that happening??)
4) *sigh* little religious booklets (in lieu of candy). Really? REALLY??
5) Baggies of plain popcorn.

As a postscript, I'll add that, very sadly, Trick or Treating has almost completely disappeared in our suburban neighborhood, which saddens me no end. My kids & I have been decorating our yard for-- wow-- about 15 years now, but last year we had FOUR (4) kids make the walk up our cul-de-sac. Oh, it makes me a bit melancholy. . .


vancouver mark said...

1 - cans of cold pop. Yes, there was a house in my neighbourhod that routinely handed out ice cold sodas. They were just generic "Cragmont" soda, but after an hour of trick-or-treating in costume they were delicious, especially after
2 - bags of salted peanuts and
3 - bags of potato chips
4 - Oh Henry/Snickers/Reese's Peanut Butter Cups/pretty much any bar combining milk chocolate and nuts
5 - Black cat licorice chewing gum, remember that stuff?
And yes I did like candy corn, at least if it was reasonably fresh and not rock hard. Liked those banana-shaped foam candies too.

1 - those little halloween toffee chewy candies with bats on the wrapper that tasted like molasses
2 - those really hard and sticky multi-colored suckers shaped like little parasols. At about ten years old, I pulled a big filling right out of my molar with one of those. Shocked and scared that such a thing could even happen, I nervously showed the filling to my mom. She gasped and snapped "well, no more halloweens for you!" and I burst into tears. Good times...
3 - any baked goods. Thanks for the effort, Grandma, but we'll be chucking them
4 - any fruit item - thanks for the apples, Grandma, we'll be chucking them at your house a little later on.
5 - Crunchie bars - hated those things.

William said...

As my waistline will attest, I pretty much like anything chocolate.

1. Snickers (fun size)
2. Reese's Peanut Butter Cups
3. Butterfingers
4. Hershey's Mr. Goodbar
5. Kit Kat

Untouchables - Mounds and Almond Joy because I hate shredded coconut (it's like chewing paper). A total yuck fest!!!

david_b said...


I whole-heartedly disagree with marketing's use of the term 'fun size'..

'Fun size' is MEGA-HUGE to me, not some wrapped piece of candy on par with a dry eraser.

'I'm just sayin'..'

Edo Bosnar said...

vancouver mark - I'm so envious that someone in your neck of the woods gave out sodas. What a cool idea - and it sort of reminds of that SNL sketch about Halloween at the Coneheads, in which they give fried eggs and cans of beer to trick-or-treaters.

And William, re: shredded coconut. Having chewed both that and paper (among other things) as a young lad, I can tell you there's quite a difference.

Inkstained Wretch said...

Ah, trick or treating! That made Halloween even better than Christmas...

The top five candies:

1) Almond Joys/Mounds (They're basically the same)
2) Reese's Peanut Butter Cups
3) Milky Ways
4) Hersey Krackle bars
5) Hershey's Special Dark

And for the, "Hey , do you wanna trade?" stuff: Candy Corn, any black licorice, anything healthy. I mean, did you not get the memo? This is about getting the ultimate sugar rush, people. Keep your dried fruit!

Steve Does Comics said...

We didn't have Trick or Treat in Britain when I was a kid. Come to think of it, we don't seem to have it now. It became popular about 20 years ago, thanks to endless TV showings of ET but seems to have died a complete and total death round my way over the last 7 or 8 years.

But these are the things I would've wanted to receive, had we had such things:

Original Wagon Wheels
Curly Wurlies

In the vomitosity camp, I'd go for anything that contains praline. I still to this day don't know what praline is but I know it's the source of all evil in the world.

Anonymous said...

As a kid I loved all the chocolate bars (Aero, Kit-Kat, Coffee Crisp, Wunderbar, etc.). Of course, back then it was all full-sized bars, not those mini things they have now. Wagon Wheels were pretty good too...they've made those smaller now as well.

I always hated apples (usually just threw them away) and I heartily agree with Vancouver Mark on those toffees with the bats or witches on the wrapper...I couldn't stand those things! They usually ended up in the garbage unless I could find some sucker to trade with.

Mike W.

dbutler16 said...

Humanbelly, I’ve also noticed that trick or treating has declined quite a bit since I was a kid. Sad.

David B, I have thought the same thing about “fun size”. Perhaps that is ironic humor on the part of the candy manufacturers.

And Mike W, yes, we chucked those apples too. I never got full sized candy bars though!

Doug said...

I love the razor story! Didn't we all go through that paranoia? If a candy wrapper had the slightest blemish, in the trash it went. Really peeved me if it was chocolate; a Bit O'Honey -- who cares? But gimme my chocolate!

I always thought people were weird who gave out homemade stuff like popcorn balls, Rice Krispies treats, or like some have said - apples. Talk about carte blanche to sabotage!


Doug said...

By the way, how many of you got your candy "stolen" by your parents when you weren't around, and in turn paid back by doing it to your own kids?

Guilty as charged.


William said...

Never got a razor blade, but I did get something once that wasn't candy.

When I was a kid I lived in St. Petersburg, FL and there were these little coconut things (about the size of a marble) that used to fall off the Palm Trees. My friend Carl and I would sometimes pick them up and see who could throw them the farthest. Well, there was this mean old lady, we'll call her Mrs. May, (because that was her name) who lived behind us, and sometimes we'd throw them and they'd go into her yard. She did not take kindly to this and would scream and yell at us about it. But seeing as we were 8 years old, that didn't stop us. Mind you, we never threw them at her house, or broke any of her windows or anything like that.

Well, that Halloween Carl's mom took us trick-or-treating, and we (stupidly) stopped by Mrs. May's house, and she totally ratted us out to Carl's mom, who got so mad she forbade us from ever hanging out again. (Carl's mom was a total beeotch, in case you couldn't guess). Mrs. May then gave us each a box of Milk Duds and then sent us on our very unhappy way.

Later, when I got home and opened my Milk Duds, the box did not contain any candy. Instead it was filled with those little coconut things we used to throw. My parents were none to happy, and almost called the cops on the old bat.

Now, think about how methodical this plan was for a minute, this old lady had to go out into her yard and collect a dozen or so of these things, then empty a couple of boxes of Milk Duds, and then put them aside in hopes that my friend and I would happen to come by her house. And it wasn't enough that she told his mother and ruined our friendship, she also had to try and poison us. We were only 8 YEARS OLD! Talk about a crazy old witch.

Rip Jagger said...

1. Butterfinger
2. Payday
3. Zagnut
4. Milky Way
5. Milk Duds

(Best names in candy and darn good too.)

I don't hate any candy really, I even like the much maligned Candy Corn. But if I have to choose an outcast candy...then I choose Dark Chocolate which is overwhelming sometimes.

Rip Off

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