Guest Post - Let's Play Ball! DC Super-Stars 10

Doug: Happy Monday, friends. If you're fortunate enough to have Easter Monday off work, congratulations and enjoy! If you have your nose to the grindstone as usual, well then -- you have our pity! If you're coming by to catch the finale of Karen's and my thoughts on Marvels, we apologize. Travel, real life, the NCAA tournament... all those things conspired to push us back a week. But rest assured that you're in good hands today, as our buddy Mike W. is going to shepherd us through a very timely story. It's the beginning of baseball season here in the States, and Mike has a comic book oddity to spring upon you. So kick back for a few moments and enjoy!

DC Super-Stars #10 (December 1976)

"The Great Super-Star Game!"

Bob Rozakis-Dick Dillin/Frank McLaughlin

M.S. Wilson: Okay, this review is a little different ... not really weird, but a little off the beaten path. The comic in question is DC Super-Stars #10, written by Bob “Babe” Rozakis, with art by Dick “Duke” Dillin and Frank “Catfish” McLaughlin. As you can probably guess from those nicknames, the story is about baseball. (My apologies to any non-North Americans who find baseball either boring or incomprehensible; I’ll try to find a comic about cricket or rugby sometime, just to even things up.) I was a big baseball fan as a kid, so I’ve always had a soft spot for this story, though I lost interest in the game a long time ago. I first read this story as a reprint in DC Special Blue Ribbon Digest #13 from 1981 (titled "Strange Sports Stories", and believe me, it lives up to the name), but I recently got my hands on the original comic. There’s no difference in the story, but the original has the actual boxscore and an inning-by-inning description of the game, and I’m enough of a nerd to want that extra information. I know other blogs have covered this comic, but hopefully I’ll be able to bring a fresh perspective to it. So, without further ado... Let’s play ball!

We start out in suburbia, with a typical (?) couple, Sportsmaster and Huntress. This isn’t the Helena Wayne Huntress, this is the original one, a villainess who’s married to another bad guy, the Sportsmaster. It’s a little weird to see super-villains living in the ’burbs (their house is a very modern looking A-Frame). What I find even more strange is that they’re wearing their costumes around the house; you’d think they’d be a bit more casual at home. Anyway, they’re fighting, which married people sometimes do, but this fight is about something a little surprising: Huntress is ready to drop the villain biz and become a crimefighter! Sportsmaster is opposed to this, of course, but Huntress says it’s simple logic ... villains always lose, so why not switch to the winning side? Finally, (after destroying their nicely-furnished living room) Sportsmaster proposes a contest: Huntress will gather a team of heroes, Sportsmaster a team of villains, and the two sides will play a baseball game. If the good guys win, Huntress becomes a crimefighter; if the bad guys win, she stays a villainess. She agrees, and they start putting their teams together.

They start a week later in Gotham, at a bowling tournament. (In fact, all of their “recruiting” is done at various sporting events, a detail I didn’t notice the first time I read this story.) I’m also not sure about the whole setting ... Huntress and Sportsmaster were always Earth-2 villains, as far as I know. But everything here takes place on Earth-1, and all the heroes and villains we see (except Uncle Sam) are from Earth-1; so I’m not sure if Sportsmaster and Huntress were living on Earth 1, or maybe just travelled there to have the game? Anyway, the bowling tournament is giving away $250,000 (in cash!), so of course Joker and Matter Master show up to steal the money. Matter Master gives the bowlers a taste of their own medicine when he uses his magic wand to make the pins attack people. Luckily, Bruce Wayne, Oliver Queen, and Dinah Lance are on hand (Bruce put up the cash prize and Ollie did the PR), so they do a quick change and attack the villains. The good guys seem to be winning handily, when they’re spirited away by some kind of teleporter machine. It’s weird that Sportsmaster and Huntress have this kind of technology; where did they get it (especially if they’re not even on “their” Earth)? And if villains have access to such a powerful device, why aren’t they using it all the time? Seriously, they have a monitor that can apparently tune in on any location they want, and they have the technology to grab people remotely and teleport them away. It reminds me of the Tantalus Field from the Star Trek episode “Mirror, Mirror”; that kind of tech should make them almost invincible. Maybe we can assume the machine was one-of-a-kind and the superheroes destroyed it at the end of the story?

Their next grab is in Metropolis, where they net Superman (playing tennis against himself at super-speed ... show-off), along with Lex Luthor and Amazo, who’s much more articulate than I remember him. Next, we go to a United Nations soccer match, with a solid platinum trophy as the prize (Is it any wonder there’s so much crime in the DCU, when they’re giving away $250,000 cash prizes and platinum trophies all the time?). Wonder Woman is at the soccer match, and it’s a good thing because Weather Wizard and Chronos show up to steal the platinum prize. Wonder Woman seems outnumbered (although she really should be able to wipe the floor with these guys in her sleep), but Plastic Man has been masquerading as her lasso, so he helps her against the villains. I can’t help wondering how long Plas has been disguised as Diana’s lasso ... knowing him, probably at least since she got dressed that morning. Before much can happen, the heroes and villains are spirited away. Next we see a horse race between the top two horses in the country, but instead of regular jockeys the horses are being ridden by Tattooed Man and Dr. Polaris, and chased by Kid Flash and Robin (with Kid Flash acting as Robin’s “steed”). I guess Tattooed Man and Dr. Polaris are trying to steal the horses, since they’re said to be the best in the country. The horses are named “Bold Force” and “Foolish Pride”, which I assume refers to real-life horses “Bold Forbes” (1976 winner of the Kentucky Derby and the Belmont) and “Foolish Pleasure” (who won the 1975 Kentucky Derby). Before the villains can ride their stolen horses to a clean getaway, their mounts are stolen out from under them by Felix Faust. And just to top things off, Uncle Sam shows up and the whole lot of them are zapped away by Huntress and Sportsmaster.

Sportsmaster and Huntress explain the contest to everyone (and the villains seem very confident they can win without their powers... the arrogance of evil, I guess?). The heroes are reluctant to play along, but Huntress says she’s somehow hypnotized (“I cast Mass Charm!”) 66,000 people and brought them to a baseball stadium in upstate New York, and they won’t be released until the game is played all the way through. So Huntress apparently can hypnotize huge crowds of people and turn them into virtual zombies... Between this and the teleporter machine, why isn’t she ruling the world?! Incidentally, the baseball field is called Crandall Stadium; I couldn’t find any real venue in upstate New York by that name, so I’m assuming it’s fictional. I’m wondering if it was named after artist Reed Crandall? He wasn’t doing much (if any) comics work by 1976, but he and Dick Dillin both worked on Blackhawk at various times, so maybe Rozakis named the stadium after him. Or maybe Dillin came up with the name? With the hypnotized people at stake, the heroes have no choice but to play. Since each side has ten players, they each choose an umpire. The heroes choose Uncle Sam because of his unfailing honesty (I’m wondering if that’s the  reason he was included in the first place?) and the villains choose Amazo (“... since he’s an android, he’ll have to call them as he sees them.”). Yes, Luthor, Amazo may be destructive and homicidal, but a liar... never!

The first eight innings of the game are glossed over on one page, which shows a few highlights and the changing score. After eight innings, the score is even, 8-8. The crowd is just staring, like zombies; it would freak me out to play in a stadium where there’s just complete silence... I don’t know how the Cubs stand it! Ohhhh, below the belt I know, but all in fun; as I said, I haven’t paid attention to baseball for years, so I have no idea what kind of team the Cubs have nowadays ... apologies to any Cubs fans out there, I really didn’t mean anything by it. I was going to say “Washington Senators”, but I thought that might date me too much! [Doug: Well, Mr. Smarty-pants, the Cubbies are supposed to have a great team this year and next, with aspirations of breaking their 107-year drought as World Series Champions. This may be the last guest post by M.S., kids! :) ]  Sportsmaster tells the villains to cheat and use their powers; I’m surprised they actually held off for so long! Actually, I’m not sure about the whole “no powers” rule; how does someone like Superman not use his powers? Would he really be able to hold back when he hits the ball? Same goes for Wonder Woman. And what about Kid Flash? If he runs to first base slightly faster than any normal human being could, is he using his powers, or is he just a little faster than everyone else?

Anyway, as the ninth inning starts, the villains come out cheating. Tattooed Man uses a tattoo of a baseball glove (which he conveniently happens to have) to catch a short fly, but he doesn’t catch the glove, so Black Canary goes to first base. Sportsmaster then beans Superman intentionally, sending him to first and Canary to second; why the heck would you deliberately throw a beanball when there’s no outs and a runner on first? And why would you bean Superman, of all people (the ricochet almost takes Sportsmaster’s head off!)? Wonder Woman gets a hit to load the bases. Robin strikes out (Really, Robin? Remember how he used to get knocked out all the time? Robin was the Tonto of superhero comics). Kid Flash sends a ground ball to short and Black Canary is thrown out at home (the villains seem to play better when they don’t cheat), but the bases are still loaded. Batman draws a walk, which brings Superman home (Score: 9-8 for the good guys). Green Arrow slams a double, which scores Wonder Woman and Kid Flash (Score: 11-8 heroes), but Arrow is tagged out when Felix Faust uses his magic to transport the ball from the outfield into his hand.

Now it’s do or die time for the villains. Luthor rigs his bat to give off “vibrations” that keep the ball from ever crossing the plate, and he gets a walk. I’m not sure what sort of vibrations the bat could be giving off that would affect a baseball; plus, the ball’s trajectory is pretty erratic, so you’d think the heroes would’ve known something was up. Weather Wizard hits a single and whips up a blizzard to blind Wonder Woman, but she uses her lasso to redirect the storm into Luthor’s face and he’s put out before reaching second base. Joker bunts and uses his laughing gas to make Green Arrow miss fielding the ball. The first time I read this, I didn’t notice the laughing gas (the way it’s drawn, it’s kind of hard to see) so I thought GA was actually laughing at Joker’s idiotic joke. So now the villains have men on first and second. Chronos hits one to shortstop and slows down time for the heroes while speeding it up for his teammates, thereby breaking every law of physics in the cosmos and sending the multiverse into instant heat death. Seriously, when did Chronos get that kind of power? I know when he was first introduced, the “time” thing was just a gimmick, then later on he actually did gain the power to affect time; but this kind of selective control? He should be one of the most powerful beings in the universe. Anyway, Kid Flash strains his super-speed to the utmost and manages to tag Chronos out before he reaches first. It’s all very heroic, but kind of stupid too; why didn’t Kid Flash (who plays shortstop) just go for the force out at second? It’s a lot closer. For that matter, why not go for the force at first, instead of tagging Chronos? Matter Master is next up, and he gets a fly ball... literally, since he gives the ball wings. Green Arrow shoots it down, but a run scores (Score: 11-9 heroes). I guess there’s nothing in the rule book against giving a ball wings. Sportsmaster gets up and whacks a double, scoring another run (Score: 11-10 heroes). Sportsmaster’s feeling pretty good, but not for long as Plastic Man tags him out. Apparently when Sportsy rounded first, he didn’t actually step on the bag but Plastic Man’s foot (which was shaped like the bag). Sportsmaster protests, but Amazo upholds the play (there’s that honesty again!) and gives Plas quite the compliment: “He tricked you in a grandly villainous manner!” Talk about praise from Caesar.

So, the game ends with the heroes winning 11-10; the zombified people leave and the super-heroes and super-villains pop right back where they came from, leaving Sportsmaster and Huntress still bickering. The villains are all shown being defeated very perfunctorily, in three-quarters of a page. Maybe losing the game took all the fight out of them. I’m not sure what the moral of the story is, since the heroes only won by cheating. Of course, the villains cheated first, so many the moral is “It’s OK to cheat as long as the ther guys do it first”? And we never really see any follow-up on Huntress becoming a crimefighter; her next appearances (along with Sportsmaster) were in All-Star Comics #s 72 and 73, where she was still a villain as far as I know (although I haven’t actually read those comics). So maybe we can just consider this an apocryphal story, or a continuity blip.

 

As I mentioned at the start of this review, the original comic included the boxscore of the game and an inning-by-inning description of the action, which I think is pretty cool. But you might notice some of the plays are questionable, and even downright illogical ... and why so many bunts? Well, I first read this story in a Blue Ribbon Digest devoted to "Strange Sports Stories", and on the inside back cover Bob Rozakis explained how he figured out all the play-by-play stuff throughout the game. His father had taught him a simple game (which he called “Baseball with Cards”) and Rozakis actually played out the whole superhero vs. super-villain game using playing cards. I’ve tried it myself and it’s fun enough, though there seems to be an inordinate number of outs. So that explains why some of the plays don’t make sense... because they were basically random. Of course, I’m sure there was a bit of fudging in places, like when a batter hits a single and the runners advance two bases; that happens quite a bit in real baseball, but there’s no provision for it in the rules for Rozakis’s card game. So we can assume there was a certain amount of improvisation taking place... especially in the ninth inning, since we knew the heroes would win, but couldn’t be sure exactly how.

So that’s my take on this story; it’s a bit weird when you really think about it, but hey, it was the Bronze Age! I love it!

BAB Firsts - BAB Two-In-One: Two Bad Cats and One Good Move

This post was originally published on November 11 2009

Doug: Today you can tell all of your friends (and perhaps even a foe or three) that you were in on the ground floor of our next greatest sometimes-we'll-post-this theme: the Bronze Age Babies Two-In-One! Here's the premise -- while Karen and I will keep doing the tag-team comics reviews that have become one of the star features of this blog (as well as the Two Girls... blog), we are now going to occasionally branch out into comics that we uniquely own. In other words, Karen has a book that I don't, and vice versa.

Doug: I'm actually going to begin with two books I purchased on eBay about a year ago, The Cat #'s 3 and 4 from 1973. I'll confess that I had no prior experience with this character prior to Avengers #144 when Patsy Walker finds the Cat suit and upon donning it rechristens herself the Hellcat.

Doug: One thing I did know of this short-lived series is that it didn't seem to get off the ground creatively, and I say that strictly from the standpoint that all of the villains in the title were borrowed from other heroes' rogues galleries, including the Owl, Commander Kraken, and the Man-Bull. Another issue facing this series was scattershot artistic teams. Marie Severin, Wally Wood, Jim Mooney, Paty Greer, Bill Everett (who is really solid, unlike the criticisms we had of him in the Defenders books we reviewed a few weeks ago), Jim Starlin, and Alan Weiss all had a hand in the look of this series. Inconsistent artwork and a bi-monthly publishing schedule spells cancellation? I'd add bad publicity as well -- the teaser box at the end of #3 implies a storyline that is not close to what is between the covers of #4; #4 just sort of ends, and then there's a filler story of the Linda Fite-authored Marvel Girl origin (say what??).

Doug: Issue #3 begins with a boat chase on Lake Michigan. As a native Illinoisan, I was offended by author Linda Fite's claim that after crashing, the Cat's lungs filled with "salty" water (all of the Great Lakes are fresh water -- duh!). Anyway, the Cat is involved with some mystery-men and is captured by them. The reader is treated to a recap of events of the past couple of days that brought Greer Nelson to this point. The "bad guys" are sort of weird, referring to her as a "creature". They also can't seem to figure out the purpose of her costume.

Doug: To make a long story short, Greer is taken below the waters of the lake to a base. At this point she believes these dudes to be Navy. In the midst of her investigation of the base (after regaining consciousness, natch), she stumbles upon an intruder -- the Sub-Mariner's villain Commander Kraken. Should I be scared? After all, the guy looks just like Captain Hook, for crying out loud! A big fight ensues, the Cat and her "Navy" boys win, the Cat's sent back up to shore, and then the base blasts through the surface of the lake, revealing that it is an alien space ship. Yeah, I know -- I couldn't have made that up.

Doug: And if that wasn't dorky enough, I then start reading #4. The art this time around is by Jim Starlin and Alan Weiss -- this certainly ain't the Starlin we'd come to know in Captain Marvel! Also, I don't know much about Linda Fite other than she was married to Herb Trimpe at one time and is now a newspaper reporter. I would argue that she certainly didn't know much about Chicago back in the day, as she not only made the gaffe about the lake, but also sets this story in the Union Stockyards. Problem -- this issue is cover-dated June 1973; the Stockyards closed in 1971.

Doug: Because I can't hardly stand to belabor the point, Greer and a female pal encounter a heavy who turns out to be the Man-Bull. He's a big dope whether Man or Bull, and what's even more ridiculous is the fact that he's shown controlling a herd of cattle. Sort of like an orchestrated running of the bulls. Oh, lord, I could stick a fork in my eye... If you can avoid these books, do.

Karen: Well, I think I had better luck with my selection for our inaugural post. The issue I chose was Justice League of America #141, from 1976. I've always been a Marvel reader first and foremost, but I did (and still do) read DC as well. But back in the 70s, most of my DC interest was confined to the Legion of Super-Heroes, although I really wanted to like the Justice League. Like many kids, I knew who all the members of the League were, primarily from watching cartoons rather than reading comics. I had read some JLAs that my uncle had, which were from the mid-60s, but they just didn't grab me. The major problem for me was that the JLA seemed so bland. I was used to reading teams like the Fantastic Four or the Avengers. These were folks who worked together, and yet, they were all as different as could be. You could hide the pictures and just read the dialogue out of an issue of the FF, for example, and it would be pretty easy to tell who was who based solely on their speech patterns. But the JLA books I read featured characters that were practically interchangeable, at least personality-wise.

Karen: I would pick up an issue of JLA every once in awhile, just to check out the team, but was usually much more interested in The Avengers, FF, even the Defenders. But in 1976, the JLA experienced a change that brought me on board as a regular reader. It wasn't the addition of new members that did it - it was the addition of a new writer; a writer who was, in fact, one of my Marvel favorites: Steve Englehart.

Karen: As the story goes, when Gerry Conway ever so briefly took over the editor in chief reins at Marvel, he announced that he would be writing Avengers from now on. Englehart had been on the book for four years and was doing a great job. With Conway resolute, Englehart felt wronged, and offered his services to DC. New publisher Jenette Kahn asked him to take Justice League and make it more, well, Marvel-like. And that's just what Steve did. Under his brief guidance, the JLA developed realistic personalities and voices. They didn't all get along, and they didn't all sound the same!

Karen: His first story actually appeared as the second story in issue 139. But today I'm going to review issue 141, which is the second part of a fantastic Green Lantern-Manhunter story. Actually, if you're a fan of the animated Justice League, you'll recall the plot, since they used it in one of their episodes! The Green Lantern (Hal Jordan here) is being hunted by the Manhunters, intergalactic bounty hunters. It is believed -even by GL at first - that he accidentally destroyed an inhabited planet. The League tries to figure out what's going on and prove GL's innocence.

Karen: This is a long story - DC was doing JLA in 'giant' format - but it moves really well. The art by Dick Dillin and Frank McLaughlin is very pleasant, although not spectacular. However, I would have loved to have seen artists of their ability on Englehart's Avengers run. The JLA face battles on Earth and in space, and it is all crisply portrayed.

Karen: Englehart's trademark skill with developing relationships is in evidence here. We have a Wonder Woman who has only recently regained her powers, and who feels somewhat insecure, hence her picking on Flash, who seems somewhat uneasy with the Amazon princess. The Atom begins to voice self-doubt. As Englehart's run would go on we would get more insight into some of the other Leaguers (as well as the sort-of cross-over of his Avengers' creation, Mantis...but that's a subject for a later review).

Karen: This issue added to the Green Lantern Corps mythology and also did a good job showcasing the various members and their powers. Batman once again proves that his deductive reasoning is practically a super-power in itself. This was a fun read and I'd especially recommend it to any fans who always found the 70s and earlier JLA boring.

Karen: I can't help but wonder, though, what the regular DC readers thought of Englehart bringing in his 'Marvel style'. Were they offended? By 1976, with so many writers and artists starting to move between companies, did it matter?

That Zany Bob Haney: World's Finest 228

World's Finest #228 (March/April 1975)
"Crown for a New Batman"
Bob Haney-Dick Dillin/Tex Blaisdell

Doug: Hey, everyone -- it's been a long time since we looked in on a Bob Haney-penned Bronze Age DC. Too long. Of course, with our current series of reviews examining Steve Gerber's run on the Guardians of the Galaxy, we've been getting a certain sort of zaniness through those yarns. But we're back in somewhat familiar territory today, as we jump into another episode of the Super Sons. We first met these guys here on the BAB back in the fall of 2013. This particular issue is in the first half dozen adventures of the Super Sons as under the care of Haney and Dick Dillin, and I'm reading and scanning from the tpb Superman/Batman: Saga of the Super Sons.

Doug: As with almost every DC comic of this era, the splash page sets up that issue's mystery. And are we faced with a humdinger in this one! Lying prone on the floor of his penthouse balcony is Bruce Wayne, Superman standing over his corpse. Emerging from the apartment are Bruce, Jr. and Clark, Jr. -- the Super Sons. And to lead off, Haney gives us some painful dialogue as young Clark says to young Bruce, "Cry it out, Bruce-buddy! Get all the grief out of you!" Ouch. As we turn the page, our heroes find a couple of clues beside Wayne's body -- a dried seal paw, and a dagger made of whale bone. Superman quickly uses his Super-brain to deduce that the killer must have come from the Arctic (ya think?), and young Bruce heads inside to tell his mother. Elsewhere, we see the city react to the news of the elder Wayne's passing, via the newspapers, and a somber Alfred set to put the cape and cowl into permanent storage. Later, as young Bruce tells his veiled (always) mother that he will assume the role of the new Batman, a voice calls loudly from off-panel. It's Dick Grayson, and he has come home to assume the mantle of the Bat himself. So you see where this is headed. The two youths bicker before Clark, Jr. tells them to cool it, but even the next day at the funeral each young man thinks to himself about personal memories of the Batman, and how he shall take over.

Doug: At the reading of Bruce Wayne's will, both Bruce, Jr. and Dick await the blessing of their deceased mentor. But while financial arrangements are mentioned (Alfred is going to live "comfortably" on $20K a year? My, how times have changed!), no word is spoken as to who shall become the new Batman. But what is strange is the last bequest -- that $5 million should go to a mystery partner of Wayne's, a Simon Link... but only if he comes forward to claim it. Later, Bruce, Jr. dons his own Batman costume and heads to his father's fresh grave to make an oath. Robin is there, however, with the same idea, and decides that these two rivals can settle things once and for all with a contest to see who can bring Bruce Wayne's killer to justice first. Now don't you think this is all just a little morbid and incredibly disrespectful to the deceased? Anyway, as the two young avengers shake on their deal they are split by a harpoon that lands in between them. Spying their assailant, the two take off after him, but end up stumbling over each other in their earnestness to be the apprehender.

Doug: This is a pretty fast-paced tale, as the very next day who should show up in Gotham City but Simon Link? Seems word about $5 million gets around quickly. He briefs our cast on just how he worked with Bruce Wayne, and that he figures Wayne left him so much money because he was always square in their dealings. But the executor reads one more stipulation from the will -- in order to fully collect, Link must first take Bruce, Jr. to the Bering Sea and show him the life of a seal hunter. Link's not too happy about this, claiming to be retired. But Bruce, Jr. blurts out the deal he had made with Robin -- man, he just outed half the DCU! And then he suggests that they team up with Link to solve this mystery. Shortly, the gang is headed for the Bering Sea on a small plane. Superman and Superman, Jr. fly outside, while Bruce, Jr. and Dick are with Link, who is piloting. Bruce tells that he heard an Eskimo named Malook was headed to the Arctic only days earlier; Link says Malook is a guy to watch. Soon they are at a base for seal hunters and the boys inspect the surroundings. Dick Dillin draws the worst-looking killer whale I have ever seen, by the way.

Doug: Seemingly conveniently, one of Link's men calls out that they are getting a distress call from another base that their ice flow is breaking up. Link orders the Superman family to fly ahead and assist, while they go it alone against potentially hostile Eskimos. Sure enough, as their ship continues they are eventually attacked by Eskimos in kayaks, firing rifles. Link orders Bruce and Dick below deck -- they protest, but he yells at them to move. What happens next raises an eyebrow, as Link fires on the Eskimos in the water with big guns and then rams them with his ship. Soon he's launching artillery onto land, destroying a village of women and children. But unbeknownst to Link, Bruce and Dick bailed off the ship and are making their way to land (Batman, Jr. via kayak, Dick being towed by a seal... no, really). The two are shocked to see the destruction Link has wrought. Then they remember to ask about Malook, and they are pointed toward a nearby cave. The boys strap on some snowshoes and off they go in pursuit. Soon cresting a hill, our heroes see Eskimos using rifles to slaughter seals. Batman, Jr. comes unglued and leaps into the midst of the "hunters". An Eskimo gets a drop on him from behind when Robin leaps to his rescue. The two fight hard, and knock off a mask. Not necessarily a rubber mask (which we are quite fond of around here, in a denigrating sort of way) -- this one appears to be of the Halloween variety, like when you were a kid -- face-fitting, with a rubber band that wrapped round your noggin? The "Eskimos" scatter, and Batman, Jr. is left to wonder which one is Malook. Robin says that none of them are.

Doug: Our not-so-dynamic duo quickly discover that the "Eskimos" made off not on foot, but on hidden snowmobiles. But our heroes have only snowshoes, so they trudge off in the direction in which they think Malook is located. They soon come upon another guy, sans Eskimo mask, who lies dead at the foot of some rocks. They blame his death on this Malook character, and then commandeer the dead guy's snowmobile and head off in hopes of finally solving this mystery. As we enter chapter three, the boys come upon another dead white man. This guy also had a snowmobile, so now both Robin and Batman, Jr. have one. So they race along, until very shortly they come upon a menacing-looking fellow with a rifle. They have finally found their man, Malook! Robin falls to a graze wound, and as the Eskimo approaches him, Batman, Jr. rides hard on his snowmobile, launching himself off of it and onto Malook's back. A shot goes off, but into the sky. Robin is all right, having faked his wound. So now begins the interrogation, and I have to say -- if Bob Haney isn't the product of his times in regard to perspectives and stereotypes on Native Americans, then I don't know who is! The dialogue in this section is painfully racist, both in terminology used as well as the broken English "dialect". Dick Dillin is complicit and assisting, as he draws Malook with the stereotypical buck teeth. Young Malook paints himself as a freedom fighter, and tells the boys that he and his people wanted to remove Simon Link from their area due to his depletion of the seal population; since Bruce Wayne was his major benefactor, then he also needed to go. But Batman, Jr. and Robin aren't so sure that Malook is telling the truth.

Doug: To wrap this one up, Malook tells the boys that there is a man frozen inside an iceberg that looks like a polar bear (no lie). The man in question allegedly would not kill seals as Link had ordered. In that man's pocket is a paper that proves that Link had given orders to kill the Eskimos. Not sure if Malook is totally on the up-and-up, the boys decide to tie him up and stick him in a cave until they return. So it's out of the fightin' togs and back to Link's ship. Link isn't too happy to see them, and orders them back onto the boat -- he says that he's aware of the costumed interlopers, and he'll mete out his justice against them. Bruce tells Link about the man in the ice with the note. And sure enough -- a short time later there's an iceberg. Shaped like a polar bear. Well, Link starts shelling it (dude's got some big guns aboard that seal catcher), and soon enough a body appears, frozen in the belly of the "bear". The corpse is loosed, and Link's men bring it on board. But before any note can be found, Dick says that this proves that Link has not only been illegally harvesting seals, but that he's also perpetrated genocide against the natives. Link orders his men to grab the boys. But all of a sudden, the corpse springs to life -- it's Superman! And Superman, Jr. arrives right away. But before any real pleasantries can be exchanged, they notice that Link has beaten it out of there. Superman, Jr. is in pursuit, and comes across a group of seals making their way across the ice. One of them is really Link, wearing a seal skin for cover. And you can probably guess where this is going -- a killer whale punches through the ice, grabs Link, and hauls him underwater. Back on the ship, who should arrive with the cavalry but Batman?

Doug: Yep, the Caped Crusader himself. Long story short -- Malook really did try to kill Bruce Wayne, but the plainclothes Dark Knight disarmed him and listened to his story. Malook told him about Simon Link, so Wayne took pity on the man and created the ruse that we've seen play out. Superman was in on it from the beginning, but no one else. And how cruel is that? Fake your death, the wife and kid don't know, have a funeral, announce it to the world... I guess Bob Haney thinks all's well that ends well, but I had some problems with this plot the first time I read it and I do again on the re-read. I can take zany -- and we've seen quite a bit of that. But this one, and it may be due in large part to being a product of the time in which the creators grew up and the time in which this saw publication... I found the plot of today's comic overly zany, racist, and with characterization from Robin that wasn't quite right. Overall, this was one of my least enjoyable Haney reads. And I've gone on record stating how the guy has grown on me as I've read more and more of his work. But today really wasn't a satisfying experience, aside from the general Bronze Age aspects of the publication of the book itself.

Who's the Best... Batman Artist?

 

That Zany Bob Haney: World's Finest 215

World's Finest #215 (January 1973)
"Saga of the Super Sons!"
Bob Haney-Dick Dillin/Henry Scarpelli

Doug:  Oh, it's about to get zany around here.  You've had since May to rest up from our last Bob Haney-penned story.  You're going to thank me.  We are definitely on Earth-H today, or maybe better yet Earth-JRWI (Just Roll With It).  Of all the offbeat tales from the mind of Bob Haney, today's might be the gold standard.

Doug:  We open with a splash page of Batman and Superman, their wives, and some tough named Rocco at the funeral of... Superman and Batman?  That's where you'd be wrong.  Because today we're talking about Superman, Jr. and Batman, Jr.!  That's right.  I didn't even know this stuff existed until I stumbled across this trade paperback while doing one of my semi-regular Amazon.com searches.  Since I write these "Zany Bob Haney" posts, I knew I had to have the book.  I bought a nice copy from the used market, and am not disappointed... well, at least not in the condition of the book.  We'll see about this story.  We actually hit our stride on the second page, as Superman sits at his breakfast table, in full costume mind you, while his wife hands him the phone.  We're not privy to Mrs. Superman's identity yet.  On the other end of the line is -- you guessed it -- Clark Kent, Jr.  It seems the lad hasn't made much contact with his parents lately, and they're miffed.  Haney then assaults our senses with a full-throttle generation gap set-up:  Superman is peeved at the kid for not calling his mom, the kid is ticked because he has superpowers he's never been able to use, Superman says he only has half of the superpowers anyway because he has an Earth mother and one Superman in the family is enough, and yada yada yada.  Young Clark gets in one more shot, telling the old man that he's ruined his life by making him be a softie like Clark Kent!  And then the biker gang busts through the window of the community center (natch) where young Clark is working.

Doug:  "Satan's Sockers" proceed to tear up the place.  Clark's having none of it, and with his dad still on the line takes it to the gang.  Clark rips through them pretty easily; but on the phone we can hear Superman telling the Mrs. "I better get over there!"  But when Superman arrives the gang is gone and he's left to chew out Clark for showing off his powers.  Clark reminds him that they are only "half" powers.  They exchange some more terse words, and then young Clark punches his way through a wall while Superman calls after him to come back.  We then cut over to Gotham City, where Bruce Wayne, Jr. is being awakened by Alfred... for lunch.  Donning a robe, young Bruce joins his parents (Mrs. Wayne is shrouded behind a large hat).  The generation gap is all good at this home as well, as young Bruce voices his disdain for his father and the restrictions placed on him by his parents.  Alfred clicks on the television news, to a story about the Batman arresting a mob leader.  Or so he thought.  The cops had to let the guy go for insufficient evidence, and now he plans to sue the city and the Batman!  Master Wayne is shocked, as he wasn't anywhere near this guy.  Then Alfred spills the beans and young Bruce goes ballistic, calling the faithful butler a traitor.  You see, the spare Bat-suit went missing -- well, we know who was wearing it.  Some more inter-generational bickering fires up, and young Bruce leaps over the penthouse garden's wall (his mother faints at the sight) and slides down a wire to the street (still wearing his PJ bottoms and the red robe, for sure).

Doug:  Do you remember when Superman used to leap tall buildings in a single bound?  It's kind of neat that Haney re-employs that limitation on young Clark.  We see him bounding "100 miles at a leap" and heading toward Gotham City.  In Gotham, young Bruce is at a nightclub with a lovely blonde but wants no part of her.  He says he's waiting for someone... we know who.  In walks Clark and the two kindred spirits greet one another.  They head outside for a walk and to discuss their problems.  They both agree that their dads are pretty cool, but as youngsters they're misunderstood.  Unbeknownst to the boys, though, a little "superdickery" is afoot as their dads are listening to the whole conversation through a bug planted on Bruce by Alfred!  The super dads lament the situation, but try to think of a way to humor their sons.  Batman points to a drawer labeled "Crime Files" (a step down from "Bat Shark Repellant") and says he knows that in Sparta City the head goon, a Rocco Krugge, is losing his grip.  What if the boys were sent in to finish off Rocco, which should be an easy task?  Superman isn't so sure, and then comes up with a zany idea -- what if he creates a duplicate city, that will vanish when the super sons experiment is over?  Like you, I'm sure, Batman says "Huh?!?"  Superman flies off to what really looks like San Francisco and heads into the bay to the end of the San Andreas Fault.  He then shakes the fault much like you or I would shake out a rug.  Look at the picture... I ain't making this stuff up.  And to prove it, I'm providing the next page so that you can read this time/space explanation in all its Haney-glory.  Neal Adams has nothing on geo-evolution after reading this scientific mess!!

Doug:  So the scene settles in Sparta City, where we look in on an ailing Rocco Krugge.  His son, Rocco Krugge, Jr. (sheesh...  but you know what?  I have grown to love these Haney-tales because of their sheer idiocy!!), is getting pressure from one of the top goons to take over the family and put down some punks who want their own piece of the action.  But this guy's interested in normalcy, not a life as a don.  Outside, Superman checks his work and notes the tremors besetting the city as it time slips.  At about that instant, the boys arrive on a motorbike and get chased by a buckling, snaking road!  They make it safely into town, and are about to wet themselves because their own super-dads sent them here to deal with the Krugge situation.  As they get to downtown, they come upon a gun battle between a car and a cable car.  The boys strip out of their civvies, their dads' costumes on underneath, and go into action.  Clark lifts the cable car while bullets ricochet off of him -- he informs us that the bullets do leave bruises.  Bruce jumps into the car and metes out a little justice, albeit with some hip lingo.  After the mop up, the boys hop back on their bike, leaving behind a calling card signed "Courtesy of Batman, Jr. and Superman, Jr."  Again, I am in no way making this stuff up.  I couldn't.

Doug:  We head back to the Krugge estate to find Rocco, Sr. mysteriously healed.  He's ranting at some of his muscle and vowing to get the Super Sons.  Then to a rented room we go to find the boys basking in the glory of the success of their first mission and admiring their press.  They decided to head out again, so jump on the motorcycle, in full costume.  They don't get too far before the bike starts acting funny.  Superman, Jr. tosses Batman, Jr. away just before the bike explodes!  Yup -- the mob found these guys out (how?  They were wearing costumes) and rigged the cycle.  So now it's war, say Batman, Jr.   Because criminals are a superstitious and cowardly lot, you know.  The boys take out several low-level heavies over the next week, but realize they're not putting much of a dent in the larger operation.  Their big break comes when Rocco Krugge decides to send his own son to meet with the Super Sons, to set a trap.  Our young heroes arrive on a wharf for the meeting, and Superman, Jr. moves to a secluded spot to cover Batman, Jr.  Rocco, Jr. shows up and presents damning evidence that would convict his father.  Batman, Jr. (bro--therrrrr) is excited, but only until Lil' Rocco pulls a piece on him.  Batman, Jr. tells Rocco, Jr. that he isn't sweating, because his "super chum" is nearby.  Suddenly a bomb goes off and we see young Superman sprawled across the docks, out cold.  Rocco, Jr. keeps the gun on Batman, Jr. and the next we see is the super boys in the back of a limo, accompanied by the Krugges.  Our young warriors are taken to a half-completed dam, where Superman, Jr. is pushed over the edge -- and then buried in wet cement!  Batman, Jr. laments this development, but old man Krugge tells Rocco, Jr. to off the young Batman.  As the elder Krugge's limousine pulls away, we hear a single "Pow!"

Doug:  We check back in with the parents.  Clark Kent is again at the breakfast table, but this time in a business suit.  In Gotham, the Waynes enter their Rolls.  Both of the wives worry aloud about the boys; both of the dads reassure their women that their sons will be just fine.  But, just to keep everyone happy, Superman flies out to Sparta City to check on things.  Flying at the right frequency (uh... yeah, nevermind), he enters the duplicate city.  But what does he find there but a vibrant, healthy Rocco Krugge addressing the media.  Wait a second, thinks the Man of Steel.  And then it hits him.  When he altered space and time, whatever they were treating the dying Krugge with must have short-circuited or something and sped up the healing process!  So now we come back to the splash page again, at the funeral of the Super Sons.  Superman and Batman are there in costume, again with their wives, and Rocco Krugge.  Batman wants to go after Krugge, but Superman talks him down.  Batman is overtly emotional, and as he stalks off with his wife yells to Superman that this is his fault and he never wants to see him again!  In the car, the elder Krugge says to young Rocco that this couldn't be better, and the evidence that young Rocco had given to Batman, Jr.?  -- Don't worry about it.

Doug:  However, in his dreams Rocco Krugge is visited by a vision of a quite healthy Superman, Jr. and Batman, Jr.  He dresses and drives himself to the cemetery (were the boys buried in Sparta City??), where he finds the graves open, the coffins on the ground, and empty!  The boys emerge from the shadows to confront their would-be murderer.  Clark says that suspended animation really is no trouble for him, and young Bruce of course has a utility belt full of funny herbs and such.  Rocco's believing this not, so Haney gives him (and us) the explanation:  Superman, Jr. was really freed from the concrete before his air ran out, and Batman, Jr. really wasn't shot by Rocco, Jr.  Of course lil' Rocco steps out of his own shadow and tells his old man that a life of crime just wasn't for him.  The old man scoffs at this development, and says the evidence isn't there to convict him of anything.  Just one second, says the Super Sons as they produce the files.  You see, Superman, Jr. had used his X-ray vision to locate the papers while he was in the concrete -- which was in a dam way outside the city limits.  And unless I don't know my geography, I believe on flat land the eye can only see about seven miles before the curvature of the Earth takes one's vision away.  And it's not flat near San Fran, kids!  Well, with these latest revelations, Rocco, Sr. takes off running.  Dummy trips over a headstone, though, and his rod goes off.  Bang, dead.  And guess where he fell?  Right over his own wife's tombstone.  Young Rocco says that his mom always resented the life of crime.  Now they were both at peace.

Doug:  On the outskirts of Sparta City, Superman and Batman have gathered with their sons to debrief on the mission.  The boys are a little irked that it was a set-up with the phony city, and that the real Krugge is still at large.  Not so fast, says Batman -- the real Krugge died of a heart attack while visiting his wife's grave.  So in the end, the Krugge empire was brought down.  The boys seem to take that explanation for what it's worth.  Then they tell their dads that they don't want the super-scene anymore, and off they ride, into the sunset.

Doug:  Whew!  What a dense story with a zillion zany turns.  As I said above, I've come to admire Haney's imagination and I take these stories for what they're worth.  Bob Haney obviously didn't give a rip about characterization or continuity -- he just wanted to tell zany stories.  And you know what?  They're kind of fun, in a "what the heck??" sort of way.  Keep you on your toes, that's for sure.  We haven't seen a whole lot of Dick Dillin on the BAB, but he's just as solid as ever in this issue of World's Finest.  I have no prior knowledge of inker Henry Scarpelli, but I noticed in the trade that the next issue was inked by Murphy Anderson.  As you might imagine, it's a little slicker production.  As a programming note before I leave, by the time this sees print I should have received my copy of the new Jim Aparo hardcover, which continues his run with Haney on The Brave and the Bold.  We're not done with the zany one yet, not by a long shot!

Justice June: It's A Free For All!

Justice League of America #148 (Nov 1977)"Crisis in Triplicate!"
Script: Martin Pasko (with an assist by Paul Levitz)
Art: Dick Dillin and Frank McLaughlin

Karen: First things first: is that a cool cover or what? Everybody just wailing on everybody else really caught my eye back in the day -it still does! This is the conclusion to our JLA/JSA/Legion extravaganza. So grab your popcorn -and shut off your brain -this is a true summer blockbuster!

Doug: I just love covers with colors that provide great contrast -- white, yellow, and black backgrounds really make a cover pop, and this one's a great example. Rich Buckler does a really solid job here -- while I like Dick Dillin's interiors, it would have been nice to have seen Buckler on this full-length slugfest.
Karen: We get a recap from the still captive Green Arrow, who's about to suffocate inside a giant hourglass hung around Mordru's neck. The Legion shows up to put the three demons away, but they're no match for the demons' magic. So far, the Legion have made a pretty poor showing! One of the demons, Abnegazar, decides he likes the world of the the 30th century; he finds its peacefulness appealing. His fellows scoff at him though. Rath wants to enslave humanity and accumulate riches, while Ghast basically just wants to wipe out humans and devastate Earth. They turn on each other but discover that their magic cancels each others out. So of course, they decide to use the Legion, JLA, and JSA as their champions.

Doug: In regard to the Legion, didn't you think their role in this tale was reduced to their physical powers only? Mentally, strategically, whatever -- they're just not a factor. For having the smartest guy in the story on their team in Brainiac-5, they don't accomplish much in terms of driving this plot. I've been reading out of the Crisis on Multiple Earths, Volume 4 tpb. The book reprints JLA/JSA team-ups with the Fawcett heroes of Earth-S as well as this tale with the Legion. As we'd long before seen the Earth-3 super-baddies, our story here seems a link in a long chain of opportunities to spice up the annual JLA/JSA get-togethers.

Karen: There's a constant downplaying of the Legion's capabilities because of their youth, which is really annoying. So what are our teams? From the Legion, Lightning Lad, Shadow Lass, Chameleon Boy, Wildfire and Princess Projectra are chosen by Abnegazar. They agree to help him, since he wants to keep things as they are. Ghast gets JLAers Superman, Batman, Green Lantern, while Rath settles on the JSA and five heroes: Power Girl, Dr. Fate, Green Lantern, Flash, and Hawkman. Ghast and Rath also have to mind control their pawns, seeing as how they want to do some nasty stuff. Suddenly it's a free-for-all!

Doug: The three different worldviews taken by the demons were interesting. I thought it was odd that Abnegazar saw progress and general goodness in the world and wanted to hold that status quo; that doesn't seem very demon-like to me! And free-for-all? I'm sorry, but I thought this story really degenerated into one big battle after another, with really nothing decided. Last week I mentioned the Avengers/Defenders War -- I thought Marvel made that a lot more interesting. Similarly, Busiek and Perez also made the JLA/Avengers mini-series interesting. This one began to drag for me -- maybe a regular-length story might have helped to tie things up quicker.
Karen: Hey, I just noticed something odd: although this is supposed to be taking place at Legion headquarters, the shots with the big windows showing the stars outside make me think it is the JLA satellite! What do you think? A mix-up on someone's part?
Doug: Yeah, space or some sort of limbo. Good catch, because it certainly doesn't evoke the Legion HQ in my eyes, either.

Karen:In the middle of the fight, Ghast realizes he only has three warriors while his pals each have five -sharp guy, that Ghast. He then sends Green Lantern to recover Arrow and Canary, who are still stuck in that hourglass around Mordru's neck. The demons had caused another group of Legionnaires to take Mordru's 'spirit-self' back to his body. But when GL frees his two team-mates, the Legion attacks him. But once again, they are quickly thwarted by the JLA. Boy, this still gets me steamed! The same goes for the next scene, which features Superman easily taking out Wildfire. The Legion was just treated like crap in this story.

Doug: In this scene Green Arrow utters the phrase "Freakin'-A". Man, that took me back to those junior high days of the late '70's!! That was a great example of contemporary lingo in comic book dialogue! And as a Legion fan who was very passionate at the time this story was published, I felt like they were dismissed as the Teen Titans would have been. It seemed that age automatically equaled value, and the Legion had nothing to contribute. Don't trust anyone over 30, they probably said to themselves...

Karen: With the Legion out of the way, two of the demons send some of the JLA and JSA off to some generator, and there's a lab deep in the Earth's core...whatever! The important thing is we got more heroes fighting heroes! It also seems that Power Girl is not under the influence of the demons, and the JLA members are also more resistant to their control. Power Girl and the Hal Jordan theorize that this is due to them being younger and having more stamina. Ouch! I guess the Legion aren't the only ones who get mistreated in this tale. Anyway, our two unbrainwashed heroes make it look like they are fighting, but it's all an act. Legionnaires Wildfire and Projectra arrive, and they manage to take down everyone, preventing the generator from being destroyed.

Doug: I cracked up at the cross-section diagram of the Earth with that tunnel running through it. Not too accessible to scientists around the world when there's only one entrance and one exit on the whole planet! Guess if you don't live near the equator, you don't go in there! RE: the younger/more stamina argument: what the heck was Marty Pasko trying to say? Is it obvious that DC was still writing for the average 12-year old (I was 11 when this was published, so they definitely hit a home run with me!), and college-aged kids might have seen this as a bit silly?

Karen: Next up, Superman, Batman, Black Canary, and Green Arrow, who have overheard the conversation between Green Lantern and Power Girl, discuss throwing a fight with the Legion. Of course Green Arrow remarks, "Where's the heroism of lettin' a bunch of punk kids beat up on us?" That's right, the Legion don't get no respect! Canary comes up with an idea that seems utterly ridiculous -basically that if the JSA and Legion were stalemated, the demons would have to fight each other. Now, considering they took champions before, couldn't they just do it again? But let's not think about that, because there's more fighting to do!

Doug: As we went through this, the depowering of the Legion was troublesome. Like I've been saying, Batman was allowed to be the genius we think he is, but Brainiac-5 was not. Did you notice, too, that the combination of Legionnaires lent itself to their defeat? Seriously -- Shadow Lass and Princess Projectra make up 40% of their team. Once Ultra Boy was pulled out, and with no Mon-el, this Legion group was not all that formidable. I should have mentioned Imra, too -- she could have been a player, but only had one "star moment". Funny that Paul Levitz got an "assist" on the writing credits -- he might have spoken up louder for his "boys (and girls)". I guess I understand that the title of the book is Justice League of America and they're going to come out smelling like roses in the end, but they just seemed like gods in comparison to the other two teams. As to the JSA, the creative team was also dissing the company's founders.
Karen: Ghast orders the JLA to destroy an ice city, which will melt the polar ice cap and cause a new ice age. But the Legionnaires show up and the JLAers pretty much play possum. Then the JSA arrives and, as Black Canary predicted, they are equally matched. This causes Rath and Abnegazar to go after each other. The heroes charge after them, there's an explosion, apparently wiping out the two demons, and Dr. Fate is imbued with tremendous magical energy. We get another shot of all the heroes attacking Ghast, and then Dr. Fate weaves a spell that gathers metal fragments from across the cosmos, which hurl towards Ghast. It turns out they are pieces of -the JLA satellite, which we were earlier told had blown up some time after the 20th century. The satellite comes together and imprisons Ghast.

Doug: How about that clairvoyance on the part of Superman and Batman, 2000 years in the future, to know that the satellite, of which they had no knowledge of how or when it was destroyed, was floating around out there somewhere in the cosmos? Light bulb went on for both of them at the same time. Again, the Legion is so based on the history of the 20th Century heroes that you don't think Invisible Kid or Brainiac-5 -- or shoot, Superboy himself -- would have ever looked into this issue? It's pretty contrived. I'm not saying it's not a good solution to the story, but just the way it came about was sort of dumb. Here was a chance for the youngsters to shine, and the writers whiffed.

Karen: All of our super-teams then get together and fences are mended, before everyone goes back to their proper time and place. You know, I did enjoy this, even though it was a very weak story. Actually, it was just one continuous slug fest. I guess I'm a Marvel snob but I just found this thing to be a huge mess. Too many things happen that conveniently move the story along. But really, who cares, it's got about 15 super-heroes in it! It was a nice little trip back to a time when I was much more easily satisfied with my comics!

Doug: Yeah, I'm with you on all counts, and I need to apologize for my curmudgeonliness. It was a nostalgic read, and all of the heroes made for a colorful adventure. But I thought the first chapter had far more pay-off then did the conclusion. I know writing these crossovers can be a pain-in-the-butt, because you just know all of the fans (like us) are going to be looking for "their guy's" moment in the sun. Tough to please everyone. I think, too, that this story fits into the heritage of DC's Silver Age -- we remarked last week about the look of the demons, all of the magic, etc. Not staples of Marvel's Bronze Age, to be sure -- but it does feel like a DC story, and that's OK for what it is. I'd even go on record here to recommend the fine "Crisis" series of reprint tpbs, of which there are seven or eight volumes. One cannot appreciate the continuity and wonder of the DC multiverse without visiting (or revisiting) these once-a-year gems. Good superhero fun, even if it is a bit silly at times. But then, grown adults running around in colorful spandex is a bit silly in itself, isn't it?