Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Who's the Worst... Depiction of a Marvel Character in Film?


The Absorbing Man?



Humanbelly said...

The problem, of course, is that some of them (like the Absorbing Man and Galactus, as pictured) are so wildly different and unrecognizable that it's hard to actually consider them a depiction of the original character at all.

The first one that popped into my head, though, was Dr. Doom in the first big FF film.


Edo Bosnar said...

Yep, those FF films seem to be particular culprits in this category, don't they?
Galactus was completely disappointing, and as HB noted, Doom wasn't much better.

And - even though he's a fellow immigrant son with a Croatian background - I have to say I really didn't like Eric Bana as Bruce Banner.

Anonymous said...

First, I will state definitively that I shall defend to my dying breath Alicia Silverstone's depiction of Batgirl. You will never convince me that she did not look good in the suit.

Second, I am going to restrict my comments to only those films which I have seen. And since I have yet to see Batman Forever, Val Kilmer gets a pass.

In no particular order, other than as I think of them, Tommy Lee Jones as Dent/Two Face. Halle Berry as Catwoman. George Clooney as Batman. He killed the franchise. What more needs to be said?

The Prowler (the love child of Luis Guzman and The Wolfman).

Anonymous said...

What about Nicolas Cage as Johnny Blaze in both Ghost Rider films.

Doug said...

Prowler --

The only thing that needs to be said is that -- look, bro -- the title of the post is Marvel character. But if you think the last two Batman films were Marvel films, then so be it.

I mentioned in my original comments about the Guardians film that I was puzzled as to why the Yondu character was named such. He was absolutely nothing like the Yondu we've reviewed several times on this blog. So why not just create a different character -- most movie goers would not have known the difference.


Humanbelly said...

I must confess, Doug, that I did a quick, almost reflexive bit of justification as far the movie-Yondu was concerned: I immediately concluded that he was simply a different Altarian or Centauran-- or whatever the heck Yondu is-- guy who shares the same first name. 'Cause beyond that, there's nothing whatsoever that links the two personalities or (apparently) their backstories. And I'm an easy-sell, because that honestly works just fine for me.

I wouldn't say Nick Cage was the worst depiction, because he was at least still sort of interesting in his usual, quirky Nick Cage way, and Johnny Blaze in the MU is (and I'm bracing myself for vehement retaliatory responses, here) one heck of a flat, uninteresting character. Just no "there" there, IMO. . .


Anonymous said...

Famke Janssen as a rather lame "Dark Phoenix" in X-Men:The Last Stand. Also Wolverine - but apparently Hugh Jackman is now the "definitive" version, only people who've never read a Marvel comic say things like that. The movie version of the Thing wasn't very good either.

Anonymous said...

Marvel!!! Got it. (Doug called me "Bro").

Ben Affleck's Daredevil comes to mind but the tone of the whole movie was off. Trying to squeeze an origin movie in with the Elektra saga was just too much plot and not enough movie. Ryan Reynolds turn as Wade Wilson also pops up. And I'm still not happy with Hugh Jackman as a TOO TALL Wolverine but like Colin says, it's become the definitive version.

So worst depiction: Maximillano Hernandez's turn as Jasper Sitwell. From his introduction as SHIELD Agent/Stark Industries liaison to a Marvel Studio Hydra Agent, I just couldn't take it. Sitwell, you deserved better.

The Prowler (Marvel is a Marvel does).

PS: What the heck is "camiocam"?

Doug said...

I think you guys are onto something. Hugh Jackman owns that character like Christopher Reeve and Lynda Carter owned their respective characters. Tough now to picture anyone else in the role.


david_b said...

I'd go with Hawkeye in the current Avengers franchise.

Nothing about him says 'loudmouth' or a sarcastic, funny guy like in the comics..

PLENTY of nominees, won't even start on the FF films (ANY OF THEM..), too easy.

Perhaps all the Captain America's before Evans (including the '70s telemovie..).

Ok ok, I've got the absolute WINNER FOR TODAY..?


Edo Bosnar said...

By the way, I'm feeling a bit foolish here, but I'm trying to figure out which movie Absorbing Man appeared in...

Doug said...

Edo --

The "Absorbing Man" was Bana's father, played by Nick Nolte, at the end of the first Hulk movie. Which, in my opinion, would have been thought more highly of had it ended 30 minutes before it did.


Edo Bosnar said...

Hmmm, that's what I get for not sitting all the way through the first Hulk movie (that's how little I liked it).

As to your point about not being able to picture anyone else playing Wolverine - not necessarily true. I can still picture a younger Fred Ward playing the character, and doing a better job at it.

And David, you just might have a point about Howard as the one that pretty much trumps anything else...

david_b said...

Edo.., I 'might have a point'..?

Sir, do I really NEEEEEED to whip out my VHS tape of HTD today..?


Pat Henry said...

Given he’s arguably Marvel’s hottest property to receive such shabby treatment, I gotta go with Doom.

I mean, really? A smug corporate suit who gets booted in the pants out of his own “company” by an even more smug board of directors (didn’t we see that in Spider-Man?). Runs off, sniveling. Even worse, he’s supposedly shagging Sue Storm. Gah. But I guess even worst of all, she is shagging HIM.

Dr. Oyola said...

If I watch the first Hulk movie with the sound off and cut it 30 minutes early I really love it.

The stuff in the desert with the army and the onscreen panels is what I wish more superhero movies were like.

As for worse, I agree with those that say "Absorbing Man" (do they even call him that?) and Galactus don't even really count (I never saw the second FF, but from the pic above the effect looks kind of cool - I think a big dude with a G on his belt might be too much for a live-action movie). Having recently seen the first one, however, I think the Thing may have looked terrible, but the personality was right. Doom however was awful.

I also have not seen Daredevil.

Hawkeye is definitely in the running. . . I want the loudmouth f*ck-up character with a heart of gold.

david_b said...

Just kidding, sir, it's all good.

George Lucas will be coming after all the remaining copies of HTD after he's destroyed any remnants of 'Star Wars Christmas Special'.

pete doree said...

I think you have to go with Galactus and Dr. Doom just for the sheer onscreen cowardice of it all. They didn't even have the balls to call him his name, but had him say to Reed: ' After all, we're both DOCTORS ' Yuk.
Same answer for 'Man Of Steel' where they embarrassingly mutter the name 'Superman' in the hope no one will notice. That movie could've been about any bunch of superpowered aliens.
There's also Electro in the latest Spidey ( and by the way, what was that scene about where Peter leaps onto Gwen's graduation stage, high fives the professor, and snogs Gwen in front of the world. Is that Peter Parker??? )
Oh, and Man-Thing. What was the point of that movie exactly?

J.A. Morris said...

It's a tie for Galactus and Dark Phoenix.

I'm still ticked off that we didn't get a giant Phoenix effect like we saw in the Claremont/Byrne/Austin stories.

As for Galactus...a cloud! What a joke.

Doug said...

I think the problem with an "accurate" portrayal of Hawkeye in the movies is that Stark is basically already that character. "Our" Hawkeye would be redundant.


david_b said...

Actually Doug, you could still have Clint be a wise-crackin' 'Stark, ARE YOU CRAZY..?' type. He could represent the viewer as your basic fighter, 'poke holes in your strategy', like 'Do you REALLY think this is going to work..?', then flirt/show-off with Black Widow.

Didn't he do this in the Avengers-EMH series..?

Besides, nearly anything would be better than the Clint Barton we got thus far.. I frankly can't remember any of his lines, nothing memorable.

He barely registered.

Humanbelly said...

Doug's take on movie-Hawkeye could have been taken from my very own lips-- I've made the identical point in conversation w/ folks, in fact. Robert Downey's characterization of Stark completely fills that "wise-cracking loudmouth" role for the group. And even though it's not quite identical to the comic-book Hawkeye's role-- it's close enough to make the type redundant in a film. I think. . . we do tend to want everything when we see our beloved characters on the big screen. But the reality of story-telling structure for films is that "Everything" turns a movie into mush. I totally miss the Hawkeye I love-- but I do get why he's not there. HOWEVER, they could totally do more with giving us SOME sort of distinctive, appealing personality to hang our hopes on, y'know?

Hey, Liv Tyler as Betty Ross in the Norton Hulk film-- that was a tough one for us long-time fans to get past.


Anonymous said...

I'm gonna go out on a limb and say Halle Berry as Storm; I would have preferred someone like Angela Bassett in that role. Halle's gorgeous but I think she was too ... delicate for lack of a better word for this role. Yes, Hugh Jackman is a fine actor who now owns the role of Wolverine, but he's still too tall.

I dunno why everyone is saying Galactus. All we saw was a horned shadow, and I don't think he was even mentioned by name. I guess the real reason was Fox didn't get the rights to use that character.

I also think Tobey Maguire, while he did a great job as Spidey, was an odd choice for Spidey in my opinion. Something about his speech patterns reminds me of a surfer dude too much, but I still loved his portrayal.

- Mike 'still upset Nightcrawler was only in one X-movie' from Trinidad & Tobago.

Karen said...

Jumping in late. I absolutely despise the Dr. Doom from the FF movies. It has absolutely nothing to do with the character. Clearly no one involved with that film bothered to understand Doom at all.

I too thought Halle Berry's Storm was not the best. She just seemed too weak for the role.Like our esteemed colleague from Trinidad & Tobago, I would have LOVED to see Angela Bassett play Storm -she has such gravitas! She could hold her own with Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellan.

I don't care for Jeremy Renner as Hawkeye. I know he was under Loki's control in most of the Avengers, but even when he wasn't, he seemed to sullen an withdrawn. That's not Hawkeye. Despite Stark being the resident wit, I think there's still room for a hothead -and Hawk could be that guy. Not too clever, motor-mouth, full of himself and ready to rumble...I just don't see Renner in that role though.

Humanbelly said...

I dunno Mike, Halle Berry wasn't really a "worst" so much as she was simply a "wasted opportunity", y'know? The films just did ABSOLUTELY NOTHING with her. I mean, yeah-- she's 'waaay too little to play Storm, but heck so's Robert Downey-- and I can live with that if the actor has a chance to breathe some life into the character.

I'm. . . gonna take another risk, though, and say that Anna Paquin as Rogue worked even less for me-- especially in the later films.


Edo Bosnar said...

As for the X-films, I almost block them out because with the exception of the brilliantly cast Stewart as Prof. X and McKellan as Magneto, all the rest of the casting choices missed the mark for me: not just Jackman as Wolverine and Barry as Storm (I so totally agree about Angela Bassett!), but also, yes, Paquin as Rogue and especially that guy they had playing Cyclops - I can't even take the trouble to look up his name. Just awful.
Basically, the only one of the X-films I kind of liked was First Class, in part because the casting was quite a bit better there (haven't seen Days of Future Past yet, so I can't comment).

William said...

Dang! My power was out most of the day yesterday (because of a storm) and I didn't get to comment on this one. I was looking forward to it too. Ah well, I'm still going to chime in even though nobody is going to see it.

My number one pick has got to be Deadpool in 'X-Men Origins Wolverine' (the version near the end of the movie). Now I'm not the world's biggest DP fan, but I really feel bad for all the people out there who are. It was like the director (and/or writers) went out of their way to try to ruin the character and to stick it to the fans. Because, they took everything that there is to like about Deadpool and did the exact opposite of that.

For example, In the comics he's a wisecracking ninja dude who uses swords guns and martial arts to get the job done - and his only mutant power is a healing factor (like Wolverine). So what did the movie makers do? They sewed his mouth shut and made him a mute, non-wisecracking, non-ninja with no guns and sword like blades sticking out of his arms. And instead of having one mutant super power, he pretty much had them all.

Wow! One would have to almost think that they couldn't have gotten it more wrong if they tried. And I really think that's exactly what happened. I think that someone high up in the decision making process for that movie just really hates the character of Deadpool, and wanted everyone else to as well. It's the only explanation I can think of as to how they could have screwed him up so completely.

I also have to mention Jennifer Garner as Elektra. An embarrassingly miscast role. I assume the only reason she got the part was because of her show "Alias", wherein she played a female assassin. However, in this case she was about as convincing as a Ninja assassin as I would be as a ballerina. And she delivered her lines with all the conviction of a bad soap opera actress. Then they went and gave her her own terrible movie, and it just hammered home how wrong she was for the character.

Anonymous said...

I saw your post William. And I would have to be schizophrenic to agree with you more. And we're not, anymore.

And I think the only part of Elektra you left out was the OCD. "Wait, did I stab him four times or five?" "Great, now I have to stab him all over again..." "And I know I didn't touch all the doorknobs coming down the hall"

The Prowler (still agreeing with William).

Edo Bosnar said...

Just saw your comment, too, William. I'll have to take your word for it about Deadpool, as I've read any comics with the character, and pretty much refuse to see the Wolverine movies on principle (because, as noted above, I don't think Jackman's suited for the part, and also because I never liked the way Wolverine became so overhyped).

As for Elektra, can't say I disagree with you. 'Course, the whole Daredevil movie was so bad that it's hard to choose. That's another one I've never seen all the way through - I just can't force myself to do it.

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