Then I Guess He Had to Crash - Thor 269

Thor #269 (March 1978)
"A Walk on the Wild Side!"
Len Wein-Walt Simonson/Tony DeZuniga

Doug: Marvel should have been embarrassed to put these two on the same cover. Am I seriously supposed to believe that Stilt-Man's rocket pods could vanquish the God of Thunder? The same God of Thunder who Marvelites continue to argue over concerning the victor in a tussle with the Hulk? That guy. If you're stopping by for the first time, back in April we had a fun conversation about mismatches in comics -- and a couple of weeks ago we checked in on one, when Daredevil was pitted against ol' Jade Jaws himself. If you're in a hurry today, I'm going to save you some time and just say this comic was "average". It wasn't horrible, but it certainly in no way distinguished itself in any positive light beyond expectation. I've been reading and have provided the scans from the Gods, Gladiators, and the Guardians of the Galaxy! trade (recommended for the reprints of Thor Annual #s 5 and 6). Here, then, are the details: 

100 Word Review: It’s all cloak and dagger as we find some menacing electronic voice and a shadowy hirsute brute egging on Wilbur Day, also known as the Stilt-Man. Day’s armor has been specially augmented for a job: steal cargo from a messenger helicopter and return it to the electronic voice. For the job, Day’s armor has been adamantium plated and loaded full of gas, concussion blasts, etc. But in the middle of the heist the Stilt-Man is accosted by Thor. In a match that lasts far longer than it should, Thor is victorious. His prize, though? A challenge from Day’s co-conspirator – Blastaar!

The Good: I never think of Walt Simonson's Thor during this period; instead I of course think of his turn as writer/artist a few years hence. I like his work here -- and just to show my heretical side, I'll say that his style here is more pleasing to my eye than his later work. Some may argue that Simonson is aping John Buscema during this run -- and who could go wrong if that was indeed the case? This is a mighty God of Thunder, well-muscled yet regal. He moves smoothly, though, whether on land or in flight. And Tony DeZuniga's inks? DeZuniga's in the same category for me as Pablo Marcos, in that I can pick out his work from a mile away. I don't dislike it at all, but these guys are definitely in the neighborhood of Joe Sinnott's overpowering style. Hear me -- I don't dislike the art. I'm just not sure how much of Walter Simonson I'm seeing. But overall it's pretty tasty.

The scan to the right captures a nice scene that was reminiscent of the airplane catch in Superman Returns, albeit shorter and less dramatic. After Stilt-Man's aerial robbery, the whirlibird went into crisis mode and began to descend wildly over Manhattan. Fortunately, one Dr. Donald Blake happened to be among the masses below. The art team did a nice job of conveying the duress Thor came under.

The story had a one-page vignette with the Warriors Three and the All-Father, Odin. It's not much -- just the boys coming home from a mission accomplished and Odin offering them a boon for their trouble. But Odin does utter a cliffhanger statement about the Realm Eternal being threatened... to be continued. I always dig Fandral and his mates; Balder, too. Thor's supporting cast, melodrama aside, is always a favorite.

Stilt-Man's dorky, but I've always kind of liked him...

The Bad: ...when he's fighting Daredevil. This book is pretty lame. It really is. We've had some arguments around here in the past about street-level stories versus cosmic stories. I've argued in the past and will do so again that my favorite Thor stories are in far off lands, pitted against other gods, or spacefaring. I get that he's not a cosmic hero like Captain Marvel or the Silver Surfer, but if Stilt-Man and Blastaar are all Earth has to offer in the way of adversaries, then editorial needs to make a change.

The plot of the story is basic, and not suspenseful at all. The hidden voice commanding Wilbur Day, the heavy in the background there to keep Day in check (c'mon - who didn't know that it was Blastaar right from the beginning?), the heist, Thor's initial engagement of Stilt-Man, the foregone conclusion that was the outcome, and the "big reveal" splash to end the story. I did not have this particular book when I was 12, but I'd like to think I was a more discerning reader than to be infatuated with this book.

 

Additionally, are we really to believe that Mjolnir wouldn't put a pretty severe dent in Stilt-Man's armor? Adamantium is not vibranium -- I don't think it repels energy. So while I could accept that the outfit wouldn't crack or split, I do think Mjolnir is more formidable than was implied in the script. That being said, Thor did use the hammer to solve the problem, and that alone makes the plot bad. If Stilt-Man's armor could have been disrupted by lightning, then that could have happened at any time. The battle scene then simply negates itself in my mind.

 

The Ugly: My frame of mind, for one. I'm sorry to bring a cloud over your Monday. It's not what I usually do -- generally I can get on board with most of what I read for the reviews I write. But outside of the art, I can't toss a single kudo Len Wein's way. Well... OK, I lied about that. There was one specific panel, early in the story, when I segued back to my 12-year old self and did a Beavis and Butthead laugh in the back of my head. So maybe my sense of humor is the "big ugly" here. And a request for forgiveness if my sophomoric humor offends anyone. Thanks in advance.  

Finding Silver in Bronze: Marvel's Greatest Comics #46

Marvel's Greatest Comics #46 (November 1973)
Reprints Fantastic Four #63
"Blastaar, the Living Bomb-Burst!"
Stan Lee-Jack Kirby/Joe Sinnott

Doug: Hey, it's been quite a few months since we tripped back to the Silver Age via our favorite Bronze Age reprint series. Last time we checked in on the Lee-Romita Spider-Man through Marvel Tales; today it's Marvel's first family and their allies versus Negative Zone Super-baddie #2, Blastaar!

Doug: This is one long slugfest! The story begins with the FF returning to the Baxter Building from the rescue of Reed. He had been lost in the Negative Zone and had been saved by Triton. While the team assembles, the roof begins to fall in -- literally! There are heavy blasts taking place, so Reed stretches through a hole in the ceiling. He's rebuffed by a concussive blast, and as he falls mutters that the explosions come from "his fingers". Triton grabs an air gun and blasts to the rooftop. He's greeted by a gray-haired menace calling himself Blastaar, and the Sandman! This is the Sandman I like, in his "battle suit". After Triton is dispatched by a combined effort, the Sandman scoops up Blastaar in a huge fist and they -- get this -- walk down the side of the Baxter Building! I'll have to say I was surprised at this visual -- I really wonder what Stan thought when he saw the panel. He dialogues it with an excuse, that the Sandman used chemicals in his belt to mix with his sandiness to create "adhesive sand". Still, the muscle control it would take to pull this off... well, that's Kirby's imagination for you!

Doug: Once on the ground, who should show up but Johnny and Crystal. Of course the police have gathered to arrest the Sandman, but it's Blastaar who attracts the attention. Naturally Johnny can't stay down, so he attacks. He proves to be pretty ineffective, so it's Uncle Benjie who arrives to save the day. Kirby had to have a blast (no pun intended) with this story, because it's just a chance for him to cut loose. Ben and Johnny do their best, but really operate at break-even with their adversaries. Highlights of the segment of the story include Ben gripping Blastaar by the wrists, turning his hands toward his own face and daring him to blast. In a panel on the next page, he says, "Just in case ya lost yer wristwatch or somethin', I'm gonna show ya what time it is... It's Clobberin' Time!" Classic.

Doug: So where are Reed and Sue? Upstairs in the lab, trying to get Triton healed up. Of course, Reed has the obligatory vat of water (you may recall our review of Super-Villain Team-Up #5 and a similar situation involving Namor) and some "healing balm" to fix up their Inhuman ally. Watching the battle in the streets on a viewer, Reed suddenly bursts out of the room and into a closet, feverishly looking for a device he was working on before the Negative Zone adventure -- keep that in mind, before.

Doug: Back outside, the Sandman wraps Ben up like a rolled rug and barrels toward the river. Johnny is out of commission as, you know, that flame always seemed to go out in the Silver Age. Blastaar takes a move toward Crystal and she gives him a heavy dose of earth, wind, & fire and knocks him on his butt. Now tell me she couldn't have done that again, and ended this whole thing. I think it's really sad that in this time period some of the female characters were actually among Marvel's most powerful (the Scarlet Witch, Sue Storm, Crystal), yet Stan and Jack always had them deferring to their male teammates. Shoot, at the end of the story Sue even apologizes for being too feminine! Disgusting...

Doug: Johnny recharges, and Ben comes back after besting ol' Sandy in the river. At about this time Reed and Sue arrive with the device Reed was looking for and had to quickly finish -- a helmet that dampens a persons ability to make concussive energy blasts! How totally convenient!! Well, he gets it on Blastaar once, but is rebuffed. With one more fleeting chance, Reed manages to secure it. But then, rather than figure out a way to depower Blastaar or hook him up to some major-league prison, Reed instead tells the team that they are going back to the Negative Zone portal to basically throw him back! Say what?? Yep -- throw him back. So he can getcha later. Duh.

Doug: Overall, this was a fun story for what it was -- just Kirby cutting loose, Stan with his typical Silver Age characterization and dialogue, and characters we love. We've said it before -- this is like a well-worn pair of jeans, just really comfortable. And heck -- it took over 20 minutes to read! What more could one ask for?