An Obscure Midnight Story - Iron Man Annual 4

Iron Man Annual #4 (1977) - Midnight story
"Death Lair"
Roger Stern-Jeff Aclin/Don Newton

Doug: You might think that it would be strange if I sought out the Midnight story when the main yarn in that summer extravaganza boasted pure Bronze Age heaven. Well, it would be strange, and I did not. But in reading this annual I did see the Midnight story tucked near the end, thought that in itself we had an oddity, and so bring it to you today. Think the story's obscure? Heck, Midnight's obscure!

Many among my Bronze Age brethren (and sisthren) were kung fu fighting during the 1970's. I was a pacifist in my pudgy pre-teen days, so was not. OK, that's not entirely true, because I did beat up my neighbor Donald one day because he'd irritated me one time too many. My issue with the kung fu books was strictly monetary. With only so many quarters in my pocket and out on my horizon, I wasn't going to stray too far from the superheroes I knew and loved. It was more of a nominal genre allocation problem than anything else. So without any sense that I didn't like those sorts of books in my youth, I will truthfully plead ignorance and trudge forth today. After all, this is only a 5-pager; if I don't like it, then we really won't have wasted much of our time, right?

I did know of Midnight back in the day, as they say. Everyone knows the Avengers was my mag, and everyone knows that the "Celestial Madonna" arc is one of my all-time fave stories. And who should appear in Avengers #131-G-S Avengers #3? Yup - Midnight. But that's all I knew of him. I had a copy of Iron Man Annual #4, but honestly did not remember this story until I laid eyes on it again several weeks ago. I'd wager that when I bought this as an 11-year old I didn't even read the back-up. As I said at the top... Iron Man and the Champions? Take two quarters!

I'm going to present this story in its entirety, so you can make your criticisms along with me, just below. I'll start by criticizing myself and my inability to provide a good scan when using PowerPoint to bring a .pdf file over from the DVD-ROMs. Just looks drawn... sort of like watching analog television in widescreen.

No 100-Word Review today -- that was so short, it probably didn't take you much longer to read the whole story! So, on with --

The Good: This was a compact story with no beginning and no end -- just a whole lot of middle. But I didn't mind that. Roger Stern's words and the art team of Jeff Aclin (I got nuthin'... anyone familiar with his work in other places?) and Don Newton moved things right along. Characterization on the toughs was pretty standard comic book fare, which was OK -- nothing campy or contrived. Without much background beyond his appearance in the Avengers, I am uncertain of whether or not I should root for Midnight. This Half-face guy was also a mystery to me. I think that's part of the appeal of this tale for me -- it has me curious. I am planning to somehow acquire the upcoming Deadly Hands of Kung fu Omnibus that reprints the '70s black-and-white magazines of the same name. I don't know if Midnight appears anywhere within, but I kind of hope he does.  

Tell me -- is it always a thing in martial arts comics to use the various weapons? Because that really ups my stress level, people start throwing stars and such. Man... those guys are super bad.

I'm also digging the ads adjoining that last page sample.

The Bad: My scans. Hate 'em. Other than that, really nothing to report. For a back-up story, and I'm left wondering what sort of stock filler this must have been, it was just that: filler for a large comic.

I like Midnight's look when wearing his coat and cape, but he really gives me a Death-Stalker vibe. When he's in the all-black body suit, I felt like he should have been lighted a bit more than he was. Otherwise he just shows as a void on the page. But maybe that's the point.

The Ugly: Nada.

That's it. Pretty short collection of thoughts for a really short story. But hopefully some of you who stopped by today will leave a thought of your own. I'd certainly appreciate some of our readers taking the time to educate me on Midnight, but also on kung fu comics in general. Thanks in advance.

An Obscure Ant-Man Story - Iron Man 44

Iron Man #44 (January 1972)
"Armageddon on Avenue 'A'" (Ant-Man back-up story)
Roy Thomas-Ross Andru/Mike Esposito

Doug: Hi, friends. It's another solo review from yours truly to greet you on a Monday. At the BAB, we've had several editorial meetings over the past few weeks, and we need to be up front in telling you that our partner reviews may be on an intermittent basis for the foreseeable future. Personal and professional considerations for both Karen and I are necessitating an evaluation of our present schedules. As most of you know, the partner reviews require a longer commitment of time than a solo review does, due mostly to the wait time involved in someone writing up the plot summary, tossing it to the partner for color commentary, and then back to the originator to clean some things up/make it sound more conversational/add the artwork. Rest assured that our partner reviews are not a thing of the past... but your getting a steady, consistent stream of our partner reviews may be. Of course we will keep you in the loop of any developments of which you need to be aware.

Doug: It was a Saturday evening, 24 May 2014 to be exact, when I became aware that this story even existed. I was laying in bed reading through Back Issue #71 when I came to a summary of the life of Marvel Feature. In that story, as the author (Dewey Cassell) detailed the Ant-Man strip replacing the Defenders after their 3-issue run, it was stated that Ant-Man was featured in a back-up tale in Iron Man #44. So, possessing the Iron Man dvd-rom I hurriedly (well, honestly 15 hours passed in the wake of this epiphany) brought that issue before my eyeballs and hey -- what do you know? There it was! So, since I reckon that many of our readers either a) are like me in this ignorance or b) are like me in that even if they did know they forgot, I figured we'd give it a look. I'm a first-timer on this, so you are getting the emotions raw, baby! Let's roll...

Doug: Ross Andru isn't the first guy I'd expect to draw Ant-Man, and I really have no idea why this story was created in the first place. I'm assuming it was one of those stock stories that Marvel kept handy. It's anyone's guess -- did George Tuska take ill and fault on his page count for the main Iron Man story? At any rate, we open with a splash page that sort of summarizes Ant-Man's career and to a note from Roy Thomas at the end basically telling us to ignore the page! So alrighty -- this 8-pager just became a 7-pager. Now that's weird. So on the real first page, we're introduced to a fella named Wilbur Grabowski. Wilbur seems to have been infected with whatever the Black Cat metes out -- a lifelong case of bad luck. Wilbur's a doofus. We see several panels of him, throughout his life, moving from one screw-up to another. But tonight, Wilbur's going to change his luck. Wilbur owns a candy store that's been failing. But, thinks Wilbur, with money from the insurance policy his life could turn. So, he ponders a little arson and...

Doug: Outside the candy store, riding a flying ant in the beam of a street lamp, is one Dr. Henry Pym. He's dressed as Ant-Man. To give you a little temporal compass, Neal Adams famously drew Ant-Man in Avengers #93 (cover dated November 1971); this story was sold only two months after. Coincidence? Roy Thomas was the author of both tales. Or was this, again, already in the can so to speak? I have no clue. Ant-Man seems to picking up some strange emotional waves through his cybernetic helmet. His "steed" apparently does, too, and begins to drop toward the candy store. At first I thought all this was coming from Wilbur, but upon entering the store -- and hearing Wilbur go on about how he's "going to do it, going to do it" -- the ant flies Pym down to the floorboards, and in between to the crawl space (my guess -- really no idea here). Pym now feels some really bad vibes, and immediately spies some big nasties. Can a brother get a can of Raid?? It's so bad, in fact, that he orders his steed back to the anthill.

Doug: As Hank ascertains the subterranean situation he can still hear Wilbur muttering to himself upstairs. But guessing that Wilbur is harmless, Hank allows himself to get caught by a cricket. He calls it the oldest trick in the superhero handbook -- "take me to your leader", so to speak. But when the cricket begins to spirit Hank toward a light, our hero suddenly becomes quite alarmed at the bug he sees ahead. *Editorial interlude: I am having a really hard time taking this story seriously. Not a reader of very many Silver Age Ant-Man/Giant-Man books, but this seems in that vein.* It turns out that Ant-Man's foe is an old nemesis, dating all the way back to Tales to Astonish #39! We're in the presence of the Scarlet Beetle. I can feel you trembling as you read this. Apparently the Scarlet Beetle wasn't just any old beetle -- nope, this dude had radiation-based powers (it was the 1960s, after all). But the Scarlet Beetle assures Pym that his powers are back. Indeed, the beam that drew Pym to this spot is the same transmission that will draw insects to him. We get a scene reminiscent of Hitchcock's The Birds.

Doug: The S.B. tells Pym that insects will eradicate humans from the planet and again dominate the world. And then to hammer his point home, S.B. grabs Pym's belt away from him -- he says that a man's dominator ought to be larger than life. Pym says go ahead, dude; the gas had been perfected to only work on Pym. S.B. says no big deal -- he really wanted the cybernetic helmet anyway. Now Hank started to get nervous. But suddenly, he smelled something -- yup, Wilbur was about to do the dirty deed upstairs! With chaos reigning beneath the floor, Pym strikes the Scarlet Beetle across the mandible. S.B. flips onto his back and Pym makes a break for it. He thinks to himself as he races for the main floor that the S.B. is super-dangerous and humanity is at risk. Not buyin' it, but anyway... Roy has some uncomfortable dialogue for some African-Americans in the proximity of the fire, but maybe it was just a sign o' the times.

Doug: As Hank had paused to survey the growing fire, the Scarlet Beetle caught up to him and grabbed him. But Hank, still possessing his full-grown strength easily flipped S.B. back onto his topside again. And wouldn't you know it -- right in the path of Wilbur's dropped kerosene can. S.B. was crushed, killed -- because one of Hank's ants had crawled up Wilbur's leg and irritated him. And wouldn't you know, ol' Wilbur's luck didn't change after all. As he went to run out of the burning candy store he was met by the police and firemen. Bad luck again. But as Hank mused to himself, maybe that guy had saved the world!

Doug: This was a decent-enough story; it certainly was a heritage sort of tale in that it looked back to Marvel's monster days and the dawn of the Marvel Age. The art team of Andru/Esposito was steady, but I have to declare that I didn't always get that "Ross Andru Amazing Spider-Man" vibe from his work here. Occasionally I could see in a face the Andru tendencies, but the figurework didn't to me evoke his Spidey work. As has been well-documented around here, I'm a big Hank Pym fan. So although this was a quirky story, it was nice to see Hank star in a strip where he was actually the hero, and with no clay feet. How about that?

An Obscure Gwen Stacy Story - Amazing Spider-Man 365

Amazing Spider-Man #365 (August 1992)

"I Remember Gwen"

Stan Lee/Tom DeFalco-John Romita, Sr.

Doug: As I write this, it's a little less than two weeks until the American premier of Amazing Spider-Man 2. As it's been hinted in the weeks leading up to release that Gwen Stacy will not make it through the film alive, I thought it might be appropriate to run this review today. Of course, those of you who have seen the film can attest to the truth of those rumors -- later. Let's keep all of our comments today to the story at hand; tomorrow Karen has set up a "first impressions" post for our readers to voice non-spoiled opinions of the movie. As is our practice, we'll give everyone a chance to speak openly on the film after it's been out in the States for around 10 days. As you can tell above, I'll be reading from my copy of the hardcover, Marvel Visionaries: John Romita, Sr.  I also have the comic, but it's just easier to get to the book.

Doug: You'll notice from the creator credits that our major players are Stan Lee and John Romita. Tom DeFalco is credited with the plot, but it was a nice touch to hand this back-up story to the main chroniclers of the love affair of Peter Parker and Gwen Stacy. Of course, by the time this saw print, Gwen had been dead for many years (both in real time and in Marvel time). Peter had moved on, and was by "now" married to Mary Jane Watson. So what's the premise of this story? At first blush I'm sure many of you thought it would be Peter who would narrate the tale. No. It's MJ. She's home alone at night -- again. And as she tries to busy herself her mind keeps wandering to the past, worrying that Peter won't come home one night. And that takes her further back, to Gwen. MJ reflects on their relationship as friends and as romantic rivals for Peter's affections. We learn how much MJ envied Gwen -- of her looks, her brains, her father, and of course her relationship with Peter. MJ spent her teen years trying not to show her envy; instead she played a persona of a party girl, playing the field, trying to make everyone happy. She flirted with Flash Thompson, and went steady with Harry Osborn. But it was always a facade to hide her longing for what Gwen Stacy had.

Doug: Mary Jane then detailed the day their lives changed -- for Gwen, for Peter, for everyone. Peter sat alone when a bulletin came over the radio that Dr. Octopus was on the loose downtown. Fearlessly swinging toward the threat, Peter soon engaged his foe. But as they battled wildly on the rooftops, one of Ock's tentacles smashed a short chimney and sent it plummeting over the building's edge and toward the street. Captain Stacy was on that very street, and saw the tableau unfold. A small boy, mesmerized at what was taking place in the sky above him, froze as the rubble tumbled his way. Selflessly, George Stacy dove toward the lad and shoved him to safety -- as the entire load fell on and crushed him. Spider-Man swung immediately to the street, gathered Stacy's broken body and spirited him away, only to hear the Captain's final words -- he called him "Peter". At the funeral, Gwen remarked at how she hated Spider-Man and blamed him for her father's death. Peter tried to defend the Wall-Crawler, but Gwen interpreted that hostilely. It was Mary Jane, later that same day, that smoothed things over for Gwen and Peter -- Mary Jane, who saw her opening to take Peter for herself. Instead, she pushed her rival back toward the man she secretly loved.

Doug: And then MJ's mind went to that night. Which night? That night. The night Gwen Stacy died. MJ honestly felt good about herself, that she'd pushed Gwen and Peter back together -- but only for a short time. And as she reflected on that night, her own vulnerability came to the fore. As she worried about Peter's safety each night, she knew that her own safety was always in question. But she thought to herself that she wouldn't trade their marriage for anything. Suddenly Peter came home, and asked what was for dinner! But MJ said dinner could wait -- the night was young, and she wanted to cuddle. Peter said he wouldn't complain, but asked what brought on all the affection? MJ just shrugged it off, and said she just felt like they needed to make every moment count.

Doug: What a neat little story! I have to toss a big kudo to Stan Lee. Looking at the publication date, Stan would have been around 70 years old. And despite still writing the newspaper strip at that time, he hadn't written a full Spider-Man story in some years. But he was so reserved, and so dedicated to the spirit of this plot. There's no hyperbole here, none of Stan's bluster. This is a tender story, and Stan really honors that. And doesn't Johnny Romita honor the two beautiful women in Peter Parker's life? Again, as you might notice from the credits, the Jazzy One inked himself on this one, and the results are near-perfect. It's really a great looking book -- and while he shows that he still had it in regard to "his" Mary Jane, we also see that he could do the MJ popularized during the Todd McFarlane run on Amazing Spider-Man. This was just a nice homage to the Silver and Bronze Age stories that made Spider-Man Marvel's flagship character.

An Obscure Wolverine Story - "The Hunter"

The Best of Marvel Comics, Volume One (1987)
Marvel: Five Fabulous Decades of the World's Greatest Comics (1991)
"The Hunter"
Chris Claremont-Marshall Rogers/Randy Emberlin

Doug: What a mystery we have here! Back in March, when I was readying to go to the Indiana Comic Con, I was down in the library looking for anything to take with me that I might like to get signed. As I've noted in the past, I've used the Marvel: Five Fabulous Decades of the World's Greatest Comics book pictured above to get autographs from everyone from Stan Lee to Jim Shooter to Sal Buscema to Jim Lee. However, there weren't fair representations of the work of some of the creators I was going to see. But, I did leaf through the book as I'd not had it out in years. Well what to my wondering eyes did appear but an obscure Wolverine story! Entitled "The Hunter", it's a little 6-pager done by usual Wolverine scribe Chris Claremont but penciled by noted Batman artist Marshall Rogers. What's more, I found that this appearance is the only reprinting of the story, which first appeared in a leather-bound book, The Best of Marvel (1987) -- that book was only available through the Sears catalog or in-store. So how's that for obscure? Shall we?

Karen: I hate to say that I've had that Les Daniels book for years and never noticed this story.

Doug: Yeah, well I did read it way back when, and had no memory of it when I saw it again a couple of months ago!

Doug:  This short story, for those who need a little temporal spacing, came five years after Frank Miller's landmark Wolverine mini-series and just a year before Wolverine's ongoing series. It seems to me that this story has a similar vibe to the Wolverine mini in that Chris Claremont appears to use this as a tutorial on the character; in the Daniels book the author comments that Claremont has referred to this story as "Wolverine: 101". Logan is in Tokyo, and he narrates that although he's a Canadian by birth, this city and the country of Japan are his adoptive lands. Someone has kidnapped Lady Mariko, and Logan ain't happy. But what's amusing is Wolverine's zest for the hunt (hence the title). Somebody's done somebody wrong, and they're gonna pay.

Karen: 'Wolverine 101' - Claremont does manage to convey a lot of information on that first page. As far as the art goes, I'm not sure why, but this doesn't look like Rogers' best work to me -not by a long shot.

Doug: I think Rogers' depiction of Wolverine is off for me. The lay-outs, landscapes and backgrounds -- all good. Logan just doesn't feel right, though.

Doug: Wolverine knows who his enemy is -- a certain tycoon who fancies himself a noble of days past. He lives in a castle complete with moat and circling guards; guards who wear Mandroid armor. Wolverine easily breaches the first lines of defense and smells out a laser light -- and trips it on purpose. He's instantly strafed by automatic gunfire, and drops to a hard concrete floor below. Japanese guards in traditional samurai garb move to surround him and remark how easy it was to bring down the mutant. Shortly, Sabuko (the Yakuza kingpin) is shown Wolverine's body. Sabuko gloats that now the other Yakuza gangs will be forced to accept him as overlord. Wolverine's eyes open, and this isn't going to end well.

Karen: Claremont must've really loved the Mandroids; this is the second time (to my knowledge) that he chucked them into a story (X-Men # 118). I guess the whole point of the sequence, with Wolverine getting shot repeatedly, was to demonstrate his mutant healing power for new readers, but you have to wonder if that was really the best plan he could come up with...

Doug: Sort of funny how it always worked. Even when he fought the Hulk, no damage done. Give him a few minutes and maybe a couple of Tylenol -- good to go!

Doug: What follows is pretty typical for 1990s Wolverine stories. Trouble is, this was printed in 1987 -- I was a little taken by the blood on Logan's claws. Of course, we all know that throughout his X-Men and solo career there have been many a'body laid open in his wake.  But in a standard four-color 22-pager there never seemed to be any overt evidence of such carvings. I also find it a bit unusual that such a story would have been printed alongside many of Marvel's all-ages classics (clicking the link at the top will take you to a complete listing of the tales included in the original hardcover). Wolverine cuts his way through man and Mandroid on his way to Sabuko. Sabuko gloats that the Lady Mariko was encased in one of the Mandroid suits -- in making his way to his target, Wolverine had unwittingly killed his love! Pfah -- Wolverine scoffs to himself. He knows Mariko's scent, and knew exactly which Mandroid contained his lover. He had only cut it enough to disable its working so that she could free herself. We see a close-up of Mariko's face as we hear the familiar SNIKT! She's aghast at what she thinks just happened. But sometimes the perception that one might be killed is more lasting than actually finishing the job on the spot. Wolverine had extended his two outer claws, but not the middle one. Sabuko was scratched, but not run through. Logan had made his point.

Karen: There certainly was a lot of blood flowing freely. Even today it bothers me. I guess ultimately that's the problem with Wolverine for me: just like sword-wielding heroes, I can't see them really using their weapons on others and remaining heroes. Any sort of lethal force just negates that for me, but then, I'm pretty old school. All in all, this came off as a paint by numbers story -fine if you had no idea who Wolverine was but somewhat boring for an actual comics fan.

Doug: I suppose Chris Claremont is right -- this was a primer on Wolverine. It was a decent little story, with a defined beginning, middle, and end. Claremont's script was familiar, Wolverine's voice true to how we hear it. But as we both said above, I'm a bit disappointed in Marshall Rogers' art. Oh, it's good enough -- much better than some. But it's not his best work, not in the category of his runs on Batman or the Silver Surfer which are my personal gold standards for Rogers. I don't know that inker Randy Emberlin had anything to do with it, but I didn't feel that Rogers was the best fit for this story.

An Obscure World's Finest Story

Mythology. The DC Comics Art of Alex Ross (Pantheon, 2003)
"The Trust."
Chip Kidd-Alex Ross

Doug:  Closing time, kids.  Not only does today's review close out our month of special stories painted by Alex Ross, but this is our last review before our now-2nd annual vacation.  If you're just dropping in today to check out this post, Karen and I will be taking a break from new posts during the month of January.  In our place you'll find "classic" reviews from our library, as well as lively conversation generated by our readers.  But that's for three days from now.  Today we want to expose many of you to a nifty little story found at the very back of the luscious hardcover you see pictured above.  Designer and text author Chip Kidd teamed with Ross to produce an 8-page story featuring Superman and Batman and Robin.  What can you accomplish in only 8 pages, you might ask?  Why wait?

Karen: I was excited when Doug brought up wanting to review this story in one of our "editors' meetings". I'd read it ages ago and enjoyed it but never thought about reviewing it here. I'm looking forward to this chance to revisit it.

Doug:  It was a nice refresher -- I'd only vaguely recalled the story, and had to look it up to make sure I hadn't dreamt the whole thing!

Doug:  I'll need our DC fans to help me out with this one -- has there ever been a contingency plan in the DCU for dealing with an out-of-his-mind Superman?  I think we all know that in the Marvel Universe, through the years, there have been many a'plan to engage the Hulk when on a berserker rage.  I have no idea if this is a new idea or not, but it's going to be cool.  We open with Superman doing a right-angle smash through the center of the logo sculpture atop the Daily Planet building.  The Batman is on that same roof, weighing his options.  The media has already sent out the word that Superman is out-of-control; the military will soon be on the follow.  Batman knows what he has to do -- it's something he and Superman had agreed to at a prior time.

Karen: I know there was a story (the title escapes me) a few years back where secret plans Batman had made for taking down everyone in the JLA were stolen and used against the heroes. Of course, Batman's team-mates were not too pleased that he had made these contingency plans, but that's the way Batman operates in DC nowadays. In this story, Batman and Superman are obviously still buddies and have made plans together in case something has happened to drive Superman out of control. I like that a lot better.

Doug:  So a batarang shoots out from a pistol, and a line encircles the ankles of the Man of Steel.  Now I know Batman's much stronger than your average guy, but given the speed at which Superman appears to be flying, I would think the Dark Knight's arms would be ripped from their sockets!  But the Batman holds fast and gets one heckuva ride through the skies of Metropolis.  He suddenly gets a transmission from Robin, who is monitoring the situation while doing research into the possibilities of Superman's madness.  The Boy Wonder reports that he's isolated an unknown frequency coming from the Metropolis Observatory -- a transmission that seems alien in origin!  Batman orders him to jam it -- Robin, now sweating it hard, says he needs more time!  As Batman hears the plea of his ward, the centrifugal force from a direction change by Superman hurls his body against the side of a skyscraper.

Karen: Batman is one helluva tough guy, isn't he? But man, that's an exciting sequence! And the intensity of Batman's expression is terrific. I also liked seeing Robin, and in a very sensible role: providing tactical support.

Doug:  In the notes that preface the story, Ross remarks that he and Chip Kidd had discussed that this entire sequence should give readers the notion that they are on a rollercoaster.  I say -- success!

Doug:  We flash back to a time many years prior, in the Batcave.  Superman approaches his friend and confidant, holding a box.  He tells the Batman that inside the box is a means to stop him, should any of his enemies ever gain control of such a Super Man and use him for a weapon.  Batman opens the box, now obviously made of lead, to see a chunk of Kryptonite.  Superman remarks that he wouldn't have asked Lois to do it -- for she could not.  He knows that Batman, however, can.  Cut back to the present, where the pellmell flight continues.  Superman appears to try to shake the Batman off of him, turning at hard angles and flying near to the buildings.  Robin breaks in with another transmission -- his efforts to scramble or block the alien signal have failed.  And more... six stealth bombers are closing on the city.  Batman knows that the time is now -- no looking back.  As he draws the pistol from his utility belt, he thinks of an oath he took after the death of his parents:  no guns.  He thinks how ironic this is -- not even the Joker could make him resort to this action.  But a friend could.  He fires.

Karen: Kidd and Ross do an excellent job of ratcheting up the tension here -and the stakes: six stealth bombers -not fighters, bombers! Man, that seems like overkill. It's all up to Batman. The panel with Batman firing the gun, with his squinting eye just above the barrel, is perfect.

Doug:  Superman flies directly into an office, far above the streets of the city.  Of course, that means Batman is right behind him.  Batman scrambles to his feet and rushes to his friend's side.  He thinks that he has only 10 seconds to remove the projectile he'd fired -- a Kryptonite-tipped dart.  He pulls it from Superman's shoulder and sheathes it in a lead-lined sleeve.  He calls to Superman, who groggily reacts.  As Superman begins to stir, Batman removes a red suctioned transmitter from behind Superman's ear.  The work of Brainiac.  Batman asks Superman, now sitting, if he's OK.  Superman is weak from the ordeal, and from the Kryptonite that directly entered his bloodstream.  Batman muses, "I often wonder, Clark: Do you now what you are?  You are the original myth.  The one we'll always believe.  What would we ever do without you?"

Karen: Batman made sure his weapon was not too lethal. And of course, after saving his friend, the two go off to stop Brainiac (we only get one panel of that  but you know they cleaned his clock). 

Doug:  I loved this short story the first time I read it ten years ago (wow -- hard to believe I've had this book that long), and it's not diminished at all.  The plot and script are minimalist, and we're not really sure of the time in which it's set.  But what I love is we have a Batman untainted by Frank Miller, Bane, the "Death of Bruce Wayne", or anything else.  Dick Grayson is Robin.  And Superman?  Doomsday isn't even on the radar.  So this is an untarnished corner of the DCU.  Shoot -- given the way things are today, some new readers might think this is some sort of Elseworlds story!  But what I cherish the most is the characterization -- in word and movement and deed.  It's there.

Karen: I feel the same way. This is the Batman-Superman relationship I want to read about: one of deep mutual respect and friendship. Yes, they are very different, but essentially, their goals are the same. I miss this relationship.

Doug:  Before we part, it should be clear to everyone that Karen and I are unapologetically in Alex Ross's corner.  I received my copy of Mythology for Christmas the year it was published, and later in the spring was able to accompany a friend to a Ross gallery show in Chicago.  I took along my copy of Mythology and Alex signed it to me, on the frontispiece.  You can see that below.

An Obscure Nightcrawler Story: Bizarre Adventures 27

Bizarre Adventures #27 (July 1981)
"Show Me the Way to Go Home..."
Jo Duffy/Bob Layton-Dave Cockrum/Ricardo Villamonte

Doug:  How about this for a splash page?  That's some good Dave Cockrum X-art, isn't it?  And did you notice that Dave placed himself on the cover of the TV Guide?  Funny guy...  Today concludes our trip through this magazine.  We've previously toured the Phoenix and Iceman entries and today we'll finish the excursion with a look at the fuzzy elf, Nightcrawler.  You'll notice that Jo Duffy is responsible for the script, as she was on the Iceman tale.  I felt that that story was not terrible, but mediocre.  We'll see how this one goes.

Doug:  As the team watches an old Zorro flick an alarm suddenly goes off in the mansion.  The team recognizes it as emitting from Cerebro, but at a pitch they've not previously heard.  Nightcrawler, on Cyke's orders, "bamfs" ahead to check it out.  As the team arrives to the control room, Kurt Wagner has a wry smile on his face -- Cerebro has detected half a mutant!  So, it's into a cruiser and off to Poughkeepsie to check it out.  Upon arrival, they find the Vanisher, last seen in battle against the Champions and frozen in the Darkforce of Darkstar.  And there he stands -- half a mutant!  Cyclops warns Kurt not to touch the Vanisher, but you know how that goes -- Nightcrawler reaches out and then there's a huge "BAMF!"

Doug:  Yeah, he really shouldn't have touched the Vanisher in the middle of that Darkforce.  That loud "BAMF!" sent the two teleporters through time, space, and dimension to lord-knows-where.  As they finally slipped back into reality, there was a separation and Nightcrawler landed on a planet full of shapely females -- offering him to be their god or king!  Nightcrawler's flattered, but takes the high road and tries to teleport away.  But instead of "bamf!", we hear "poot!"  Now, in the presence of fine-looking women that's not exactly the best noise to make!  It sets in pretty quickly that ol' Kurt Wagner isn't going anywhere soon.  Some unknown distance away the Vanisher has landed and is having a similar experience.  However, being an egomaniacal villain, he's trying the high-and-mighty approach, even as he too is offered godhood and/or a kingship.  The women find him humorous, and despite his failed attempts at manipulating the Darkforce, the ladies decide to keep him.  So they literally drag him off to places yet unknown to us.

Doug:  Scene-shift back to Nightcrawler, who has been set up like a shiek or sultan with the ladies as his harem.  It's definitely a wine/women/song setting.  It gets pretty cryptic in a hurry, as Nightcrawler enjoys himself but with lots of questions.  The ladies (by the way, check out the various costumes in the story -- seems like some Legion wear might be sneaking in here and there) tell him that males are not native to their planet, so when one arrives they make him their god or king -- to further the population.  But, they also tell, the gods and kings never seem to last too long.  An oracle is mentioned, and Nightcrawler says he'd really like to see that.  So it's up from the table and off on a short field trip.  Inside the cave of the oracle, Nightcrawler is stunned to see a television!  Once turned on, a little old lady, looking like Granny from the Looney Tunes, greets him.  She tells Kurt that all he needs to do to get home is to go to the Well at the Center of Time.  It's a crater only a few miles away that can transport him right back home.  However, she cautions that if he takes anything from there, or leaves anything behind, she can make no guarantees -- he has to leave exactly as he came in.  And then as he and the escorts turn to leave, the oracle tells him to watch his tail while he's there.  Huh?

Doug:  We cut to another part of the world where the Vanisher has set himself up as a god.  The locals are waiting on him hand and foot, but the Vanisher is stuck in his old ways.  He looks at each piece of treasure bestowed upon him and wonders how he could fence it!  Suddenly Nightcrawler steps forward from the shadows, spooking the Vanisher.  Nightcrawler tells him what he's learned about leaving, but the Vanisher rebukes him -- he ain't going!  So the X-Man says if the Vanisher won't come along peacefully, he'll have to go by force!  The Vanisher throws a vase at his would-be abductor, and then appropriates a sword.  "Swashbuckling?" says Nightcrawler, who then grabs a cutlass of his own.  The two men duel, with Nightcrawler getting the better end of it all.  He finally subdues his foe, and bodily removes him from his harem.  As the two Earthlings march out, the women tell them to be careful -- they seem not at all bothered that the "gods" are leaving.

Doug:  Nightcrawler hustles the Vanisher to the Well at the Center of Time.  Upon seeing it, the Vanisher emphatically declares that he's not jumping into that crater.  He then uses the Darkforce to craft a huge hand, pick up Nightcrawler, and drop him.  Nightcrawler is losing his patience quickly, when the Vanisher pulls a "sheet" of Darkforce from his body and hurls it at Nightcrawler.  Kurt's engulfed in the stuff, and disappears!  As it's like one big shadow, Nightcrawler did a fade-out.  However, upon returning he encourages the Vanisher to restore the Darkforce to his outer covering -- it's apparently wearing a little thin.  At that moment huge beasts rush the two mutants, forcing them to their only recourse -- jumping into the crater.  They do, and fall back through the inter-dimensional abyss.  Back in Poughkeepsie, Nightcrawler and the Vanisher reappear right where they'd "BAMF!"ed out only seconds before.  The Vanisher tries to go all Mr. Threatening on the X-Men, but his steam is lost when he notices he's... naked!  His teleporation powers restored, he gets outta Dodge pretty quickly!  Storm asks Kurt for an explanation and all he tells her is that he's been to paradise... and someday he's going back!

Doug:  This story, of the three in the book, would have looked the best in color (although it is striking in the format you see).  I imagine it would have looked something like the Thing/Hulk graphic novel The Big Change.  I thought this story was a nice way to end the magazine -- pretty light and breezy fare.  Cockrum just had a passion for Nightcrawler, and that spirit shines through the art.  It's fun.  Overall, I'm not sorry I own this magazine -- if I hadn't said it before, this was the first time I'd read any of these three stories.  They're all OK -- if I had to rank them, I'd probably go Nightcrawler, Phoenix, and Iceman.  However, the Iceman story far and away looked the best -- it was just beautiful!  Bronze Age X-Men -- that's just never going to be a horrible experience, is it?  Nope -- like golden days of yore.  Thanks for sticking with me over these past three months!